


Spider-Man: Homecoming - How It Could Have Ended

by blue_pointer



Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (2016), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Asexual Bucky Barnes, Beardy Steve, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Bucky singing, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Canon Divergence - Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Deadpool telegram, Disney References, Drug Use, F/M, Farce, Food Fights, Iron Winter, Jumping to Conclusions, Lies, M/M, Mario Kart, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Morning After, Not for Pepper fans, Pepperony - Freeform, Spideypool - Freeform, Team Cap - Freeform, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tough Love, Winteriron Bang, dad tony, please tell me where the hell Rhodey was in this entire film, the wonderful thing about Tonies, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 09:50:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12166530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: What was Pepper's "I think we can do better than that" announcement to the press at the end of Homecoming? Who has Tony asked to be the next Captain America now that Steve is persona non grata? Where the hell were Deadpool and Rhodey for this entire fucking movie? How has Tony been coping with his PTSD in the wake of Civil War? What if he had a Bucky to turn to?Find answers to these and other burning questions in the fic below!





	1. Just Your Average Run-of-the-Mill Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> The flippant retcon of important things that tormented Tony in Civil War that happened at the end of Homecoming sent me into a white-hot rage. So I wrote a fix in order to preserve my sanity (and ship). If you felt the same at the end of that movie, I hope this helps you, too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Cap arrives at the new Avengers compound, and the press conference from the end of Homecoming proceeds. Peter meets Deadpool. Bucky's presence is nearly revealed to a room full of reporters. Pepper has big news for Tony. Sam and Bucky bond after barely surviving the press conference together. After taking out the trash, Tony gets some unwanted truth from Rhodey.

So the kid had made the working class hero choice and turned his offer down, even though Tony had told him it was his last chance. And he had to respect that. It was absolutely not what Tony would have chosen.

Peter had finally done what Tony had wanted all along: he’d done better than Tony. Been better.

And he was proud? Sort of. Awed, definitely. But also gutted. His son wasn’t going to be fighting by his side, living at the complex right next door, where he was safe, where Tony could keep a closer eye on him. And that left Tony virtually alone with…

God, he was all-nerves. Nervous enough that he was fairly unprepared for Pepper’s onslaught--but only fairly, because let’s face it: this was classic Pepper. Your fault, Tony. How could you screw this up? Again?

He shifted the blame to Happy, but she always saw through that. He needed a distraction. Make Pepper Happy. What would make Pepper Happy and totally distract from the fact they were now down one new Avenger?

The ring? Sure, why not the ring? Wasn’t that what Pepper had been waiting for? Oh god, was he really doing this?

Wait, apparently not. The look on her face was definitely a ‘no.’

Of course. He’d done it wrong. Done it all wrong, just like before. Because he couldn’t get anything right. This emotional stuff--he was so bad at it. Total failure. Like always.

But he’d gotten a kiss out of it? So that had been nice. And Pepper had a better idea. Of course she did. Because they didn’t need to stall. They had another, bigger announcement that Peter had been meant to be just the opening act for.

It was why Tony was currently losing his mind. He’d gone into total denial of it, even; his stomach flip-flopping around like a fish out of water. There were so many feelings connected to this. Too many.  
And so he just clung to Pepper and tried his best to breathe.

Oh wait. Right. He was supposed to address the press…

*

Steve had dropped them off in the quinjet. Tony had never asked for that back, and Sam supposed that had been the first in a long line of peace offerings. But it was weird, seeing it drop down to a landing pad in the middle of a grassy lawn, instead of the mile high platform of the Tower. Sam was noticing all the small details, probably just to distract from his nerves.

“Don’t worry, Sam,” Steve assured him. “You’ll be great.” He smiled, but it was his martyr’s smile. Steve wasn’t allowed to come inside the complex for this. He and Tony were still working things out. And one internationally wanted criminal under the roof during a huge press conference was plenty.

“I wish you could come, Stevie.” Bucky gave his best pal the patented sad eyes. These two, Sam thought, were too damned clingy. Separating them for a while would be good for them.

“Aw, me, too, Buck. But it would be weird...you know me and Tony still...it’s weird.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So you gotta take care of Sam for me.” It was his dad voice, which always cracked Bucky up.

“Aye aye, Captain.”

“You know I’m not that kind of Captain.” The ghost of a smirk hovered around Steve’s lips. Maybe it got trapped in the hobo beard, because it never made it there.

“You’re not a captain at all,” Bucky laughed. “You never got above corporal for real.”

“Hey, you’re blowin’ it for me with Sam. He wasn’t supposed to find that out.” Sam watched them, smirking. They were cute together, no doubt about it.

“Oops, sorry, Stevie. I gotta get better at this whole wingman thing.”

Steve took a deep breath. Sat back in the pilot’s seat, hands on his thighs. “Well. Here we are.”

“Yep.” Even a one word answer from Barnes was progress. Not too long ago, it had been like pulling teeth to get him to even emote.

“Moment of truth. Should we do a huddle?”

“Cap huddle?”

“But I’m not Cap,” Bucky pointed out.

“No, but you have to huddle anyway. Get over here.” And so they did it, making a triangular circle, like the world’s smallest football team.

“So the strategy is, get in, get out, spend the least amount of time possible talking to the press.” Everything was strategy with Coach Steve.

“But don’t let ‘em push you around.” It was cute when the winter snow leopard cub got protective.

“And look good, ‘cause you’re representing all of us now.”

“Okay, that’s enough pressure. Time for a team prayer.” They gripped each other’s hands.

“Oh Lord, please give us guidance today as we embark upon this dangerous journey--”

“Of publicity.” After the whole Vienna bombing, Bucky wasn’t a big fan of the press.

“--to save the world.” It was things like this that had earned Steve the reputation for being a sanctimonious asshole.

Sam cracked one eye open. “Hey. Did I ask for comments from the peanut gallery?”

“Sorry, Sam.”

“Help us know the right thing to say and when to say it. Help us overcome the restrictions of the Accords when there are people in need, and please. I’m begging you, Lord. Give me strength not to strangle Tony Stark.”

“Amen!”

“Hey, I wasn’t finished yet.”

Bucky laughed. “I’d say that about covers it.” He turned to Steve. “You gonna be okay without us, Stevie?”

“No.” But his smile said he was mostly joking. “Now you boys stay out of trouble while I’m gone.”

“Give me a break.” Sam rolled his eyes. “YOU stop Nomad-ing all over the place or Interpol is gonna be on your ass before we get back.”

“No promises.”

“You never do.” Evasion was Steve’s primary form of dishonesty. It was annoying, but predictable.

“He’s a punk like that.” Bucky’s grin was fond.

“C’mere, you big jerk.” They hugged, and it was more Romeo and Juliet than bromance. But who was telling?

Sam shook his head. “Seriously, though, Steve. Don’t do anything without at least running it by us first.”

“Yeah, like he’s gonna do that.”

Steve’s smirk showed Bucky was right. He was a terrible liar. Even thinking about lying, he couldn’t keep a straight face.

“Oh, I get it,” Sam said. “You’re just trying to make sure our stay at Chez Stark isn’t too long. If you make us worry, then we’ll come back sooner.”

Steve looked a little lost. His depression always cut through the joking eventually. “Do what you gotta do, Sam.”

Bucky put a hand on his shoulder. “We won’t stay too long. And I’ll call you every day to check in. And you send me pictures. And texts.”

Steve lit up a little bit. “I will. You, too.”

Now this was the part where they were supposed to kiss, Sam thought. Unfortunately, neither of the old codgers seemed to have figured that part out yet. Which played to his advantage. He swooped in and planted one on Steve instead. Then they indulged in one last group hug, and hurried inside before any reporters could spot them.

*

Happy had told him to wait in the car. And that was great, but Peter really wanted to explore. Just because he wasn’t going to be an Avenger didn’t mean he didn’t want the VIP tour of the new Avengers complex. How long was Happy gonna be, anyway? He wished he had KAREN here to tell him. Time always seemed to move so much faster for Peter than it did for the rest of the world.

Why was that? Did spiders feel like they were moving faster than time, too? Were spiders a sort of low-key time traveler? Was he like the Flash in DC comics, only slower? Man, this was torture.

His Spidey-senses were tingling, and suddenly something hit the car, rocking it on its shocks. Was someone...on top of the car? Was this a thing? An attack? Should he jump into action? How could he do that without the suit?

“Gosh, it sure is boring out here,” a muffled voice said from the direction of the roof.

“Hello?” Peter tried to roll the window down, but the control was locked. Totally uncool. “Hey, why are you on the roof?” he asked. Peter tried the door handle. Also locked. What, so he was a prisoner? Happy didn’t trust him to stay in the car? Maybe it was justified, but it was totally not okay. “Hey, I’m trapped in here. This sucks!”

Peter flattened himself back against the seat as twin katanas stabbed through the roof of the car and sliced a large square hole in the ceiling. “Well that sounds just awful!” the muffled voice said.

Now Peter could see sky. And some guy with a red cowl covering his head? It actually kind of looked like Peter’s mask. Only without the webbing. And the eyes were a little crazy. And the hood had a little tip on it, kind of like a...a… No, it was too embarrassing to think about.

“So.” The red head inched further into his view, followed by a muscular pair of shoulders, black against the blood red of his cowl. “You gonna stay in there all day, or you wanna go have some fun?” He clapped his hands together like a little kid going to the circus.

“Uh. Who are you again?” He was probably another one of Stark’s employees, Peter thought, given the similarity of the suit to his own. But he’d never heard of the guy, and. It didn’t hurt to be careful. Or polite.

“Oh! How rude of me!” The man did a triple somersault into the driver’s seat, then twisted around to offer Peter a black-gloved hand. “Pool. Deadpool. But you can call me Wade❤!” Peter wasn’t sure how he knew there was a heart at the end of that sentence. Something in his tone of voice, maybe. And the way his eyes squinted.

“Hi, Wade.” Peter took the offered hand. Shook it. Something about the dude’s glove was funny. The texture. Like alligator skin covered in dried blood. “I’m Peter. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, the pleasure’s all mine❤.” That heart-voice was still there. And now Wade was leaning his chin on his fist, staring at Peter like a lovesick schoolgirl. It was a joke, right? The guy just had a wacky sense of humor probably.

“So, Petey, come here often?” Petey? No one had called him that since he’d been like. Five. But whatever. Wade didn’t seem like the type of guy who could take a hint.

“Actually, no,” he answered. “This is my first time.”

“What?” Wade put his hands on either side of his face, like the Home Alone kid. “Your first time and they lock you in the car? How’s that for a welcome!”

“Well, Happy was supposed to drive me back to Queens. I guess they didn’t want me snoopin’ around now that I said I won’t be an Avenger.”

“You won’t?” Wade sounded very excited about this.

“Nah. I got school to finish. Figure out what I wanna do with my life. Spend time with my friends, take care of my aunt.”

“You sound like a boy with a lot of responsibilities,” Wade observed, hanging upside-down from the roof. Did he have spidey abilities, too?

“I’m not a boy!” Peter said, reflexively.

“No you are not!” Wade winked. And touched his chin in a way that made Peter totally uncomfortable. “Let’s be pals!” Wade declared, before Peter could call him on it. “Come on, pal!” One arm shot out and gripped Peter’s shoulder, tugging him out of the car so fast and so hard, they flew through the air together. “This is FUN!” Wade declared. “What shall we do first, pal?” He giggled, manic.

“Are you really supposed to be here?” Peter asked, starting to get suspicious. If Wade was one of the good guys, wouldn’t Peter have seen him on the news before?

“Catch me if you wanna know the answer!” And Wade took off running, bouncing up and down and shouting out like Daffy Duck. “Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!”

“This guy’s nuts,” Peter said to himself. “Man, who am I talking to?” He took off after him, because somehow, he felt responsible.

*

Happy had lingered when Tony had brought up the ring on his own. He’d been pushing for Mom and Dad to get together since Tony had first danced with Pepper at that benefit in 2010. And now that they were speaking again, Happy was convinced there would be an ever after ending.

And so it was with a song in his big burly heart that Happy finally lumbered out to the car to drive Peter home. But the kid was gone. Along with most of the roof. “Aw, you gotta be shittin’ me.”

*

  
After causing Happy to stall for what later appeared to be a crucial amount of time, Tony followed Pepper through to the press room and took the podium. Familiar. All of this felt so familiar. Like a trip back in time.

But things were different now. No matter how desperately, how fast Tony worked to fill the cracks in his life Steve had left behind, he knew. He always knew they were there, just barely holding together with duct tape and sheer force of will.

“Hey, everyone, thanks for coming.” Tony greeted the reporters with his ring master’s smile. “I know it was kind of a trek, but I think you’ll find it worth your while.

“A lot of you have been wondering ‘what’s next’ for the Avengers, what with Captain America going international criminal and Thor and Hulk having been MIA for over a year now.

“We’ve sold the Tower and left the city behind, and I can see you all now asking yourselves, ‘Is this the end? Are the Avengers over and done with?’

“And today I say, ‘No, my friends.’ Just because we have to play by the rules now, doesn’t mean we’re rage quitting the game.On that note, it’s my honor to present to you a new chapter of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. And it opens like this…”

*

“I think that strap’s supposed to go in there.”

“Now you’re just putting it on wrong on purpose,” Sam snapped. “Quit messin’ with it, man! It looks fine. Trust me. I put on enough harnesses in my life.”

“Because of the bondage scene, right?”

Sam still wasn’t used to Bucky’s jokes. But he was trying, and Sam had to support that. If there was one person in this building who had little to nothing to laugh about, it was Barnes. “You caught me.” He looked at him sarcastically. “I, a black man, like nothing better than to be tied up and forced to wear a collar.”

“Ohhhhh.”

“See how humor works?”

“Sorry. I didn’t think of that.”

Sam ruffled his hair. “I’m just giving you shit.”

Bucky’s smile faded as he leaned closer to the wall, listening to what was going on in the next room. “Did somethin’ go wrong?” he asked Sam. “Weren’t they supposed to be introducing some kid first?”

“They’re not?” Bucky was the one with super-hearing. Sam didn’t feel like activating any of the fancy shit on the suit now when he could just ask.

“No, something about do people think Avengers are over--whoa!” They both stumbled as the round platform on which they’d been standing started to move.

“What happened to giving us a warning first?”

“Wait, this is wrong!”

“What the hell, Stark?”

And so it was ass-first that Sam and Bucky were introduced to the room full of reporters, with Sam wondering what the hell had just happened and Bucky clawing frantically at the moving wall that had closed behind them. It was his worst nightmare to get dragged in front of a room full of reporters. “Gimme those!” He snatched the goggles off Sam’s head, hoping they would provide some sort of disguise.

“Come on, man!” It was the red goggles that made this look.

“...Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, may I present your new Captain America. Now in living color.”

Sam scowled at Stark. Seriously? Or had he just been implying that Sam Wilson was secretly one of the Wayans brothers?

“Was that racist?” Bucky whispered behind him, crouching down to hide behind Sam’s new star-spangled wings.

“If you have to ask, the answer is always yes,” Sam grunted.

“Asshole,” Bucky spat as quietly as humanly possible.

“Pretty much.” But Stark had so much damage, it tended to come out sideways like this. One of the reasons Sam had agreed to work with him was because a condition of his cooperation was that Tony get help. And he’d damn well better follow through. Making his peace with Oil Can had been a huge step forward for both of them. And so Sam had agreed...to this. Okay, getting to take up Cap’s shield was kind of great, too.

Standing here on the moving platform, looking out at a sea of mostly-white faces, Sam felt a little bit like Daniel Kaluuya in Get Out. Why had he agreed to being put on display like this? Tony’s constant need to perform was a symptom of his illness. He should be helping to curb it, not enabling it.

At least he wasn’t alone. Huddled behind him, Sam could feel Bucky’s anxiety skyrocketing. “Deep breath,” he murmured. “Go to your happy place.”

“Are you talkin’ to me or you?” Bucky asked.

“Both of us, butthead.”

“Alright, Beavis.”

“Chief Master Sergeant Sam Wilson,” Tony finished, stepping aside with a wave of his arm that indicated it was open season on questions for Sam. And apparently it wasn’t just for questions from in front of him.

“Whoa. You were a Chief Master Sergeant?”

“I still am. Why, you planning on going Mortal Kombat with me for my rank?” Fortunately there were no mics up here to pick up their private question and answer session.

Bucky snorted and poked him. “You’re way too laid back to be ranked that high.”

“Trust me. It took years of Zen and counseling to get to where I am now.”

*

Was that…? How on earth had Barnes gotten out here? No, this was a disaster! No one was supposed to know that Tony was temporarily harboring the most wanted terrorist in the world. This wasn’t supposed to be that kind of press conference at all. But when he shot Pepper a panicked look, she was looking on with a smile on her face as if nothing was wrong.

Tony tried to signal him...how did you signal someone who was supposed to be in hiding to tell them to hide? Seriously, how had this happened? Was the man really that turned around that he didn’t know to stay off the moving platform when it started moving? Tony ducked out the back way and made a beeline for the emergency hatch in the stage, intending to jerk Barnes out of there by force if necessary.

*

Pepper was giving them the evil eye. That usually meant they were doing something wrong. Then again, Pepper had serious control issues, and he and Sam both got a kick out of pressing her buttons. “How do we do this?” Bucky whispered in Sam’s ear. “You want me to pick or you pick?”

“Considering you’re not even supposed to be here?” He could tell Sam was frustrated. Maybe even nervous. That was weird to think of. Sam always seemed so cool and collected.

“Come on,” Bucky said. “Let me choose.”

Sam sighed. “Fine.”

“That heavy-set lady three seats from the left. I bet she never gets called on.”

*

Bucky had a different way of looking at people. Steve had been right: he had a heart of gold. He just wasn’t as generous with himself as he was with the rest of the world. But they were working on it. “Yes, you. In the lavender. No, on the left. Go ahead.”

“Connie Mathers with the Huffington Post. Mr. Wilson, weren’t you implicated in crimes against the United Nations along with Steve Rogers just a few months ago? After which you escaped from a maximum security prison?”

“Whoa.”

“Shut it.” Sam whispered to Bucky and forced a smile. “As I’m sure you’ve read by now, Connie, those charges were dropped after I turned myself in. And Secretary Ross is currently under investigation for placing non-enhanced humans--without trial--in a facility designed to hold enhanced humans.”

A red-faced white man barged in before anyone else could get in a question. “Tom Pfeffer, Breitbart News.” Sam glared at Stark. How in hell had he let them in here? “What qualifies you, a criminal, to take up Captain America’s shield, a symbol which represents this great nation?”

“Now I know you were listening to what I just told Connie, Tom. I’m no more a criminal than you are...maybe less so.” There was laughter from several members of the press, and the man became even more red-faced.

“How is a black man, whose native country is Africa, supposed to stand as a symbol of the U.S. of A?”

There it was. Now he was in the zone. “Well first off, Tom, Africa is a continent, not a country. As any fifth grader can tell you.” He was pleased to get another laugh from the press corps at that. “Second of all, I was born in New York City. Not Kenya. Not even Hawaii. So thanks for playing.”

While the man sputtered, Sam caught Rhodes’ eye at the back of the room. Oh, thank you, Jesus. Sam was relieved in more ways than one to see Jim had chosen to to stop sulking in his room long enough to come down for the press conference. Rhodes nodded at him and moved to eject Mr. Breitbart. And if the look on his face had anything to say about it, Tony was going to get an earful for even letting them in here.

“I think you’ll find your parting gift in the lobby.”

“I didn’t fight Nazis for assholes like that to feel like they own the country,” Bucky grumbled behind Sam.

“Thank you, next question.” Sam had the rhythm now. He just hoped this wouldn’t go on for too much longer.

“I gotta pee,” Bucky whined behind him.

“Well hold it,” Sam told him. “We’re both in this to the bitter end now.” He glanced around to see Stark had left the room through the back way. Typical.

“Master Sergeant Wilson, Letha Johnson, New York Times. Personally I’d like to thank you for your service. Can I ask who the man is who’s hiding behind you right now?”

“Oh, him?” Think fast, Sam. “That’s just my assistant, Sebastian. Say hi, Sebastian.”

Bucky popped just the top of his head up behind Sam’s shoulder. “Hi, Sebastian.” Sam much preferred the laughs to the disapproving looks a few of the reporters were giving him. “Next question.”

*

Tony was in position. Now to find the most subtle way to remove Barnes from the line of sight of every news rag on the planet so that no one would notice. A nonverbal cue would come in handy right about now. He had it! A magnet. No way Barnes could get away from a magnet. And so long as he didn’t fight it, none of the reporters would ever have to know.

Tony quickly ran to the lab and grabbed one of his industrial magnets. Brought it back. Plugged it in. “Here we go!”

*

That was around the time Bucky felt a jerk on his arm, pulling him back towards the curving wall. “What the--” There was no one there. And jerking him around right now was a bad idea. People might see him if he didn’t stay hidden behind Sam just so. He found himself in a sudden tug of war with his arm, where the arm wanted to go toward the wall, and Bucky wanted to go back to hiding. “Quit it!” he told the invisible force that was pulling on him. It was strong, but he was stronger.

“Come on, Barnes!” It was faint, but his hearing caught it.

“Tony?”

“I can’t hear you, but I know you can hear me. I’m trying--get you out of there before someone recognizes you.”

“Yeah, no shit. And thanks for trapping me out here, by the way.”

“There’s a hidden door on the left. Slide your hand over the wall until you feel it start to give. Push just a little bit, and it’ll open.”

This seemed stupid. Bucky had to hide his metal arm while he slid his right hand up and down, over and across. Meanwhile, Tony still hadn’t turned the damn magnet off.

“Mr. Wilson, is your assistant lost?”

“Your assistant looks really familiar.” Sam had to cover by moving his wings into an even greater barrier, spreading them and continuing to engage and distract the press.

“Goddammit, Tony.”

“Your other left, genius.”

“Eat my shorts, asshole.” But he finally found it. Pushed, and the secret panel gave way. Bucky jumped back into the hall and stood out of the way while Tony closed it again.

“Smooth.” Tony loomed over him, superior as ever, as Bucky crouched on the floor, panting.

“Hey, it wasn’t my fault I got stuck out there. Why did you push us out early?” They should have at least gotten a warning.

“I’m not here to babysit you,” Tony said, turning away. “You’re an adult, plus I have actual children to babysit.”

“Peter?” Tony was walking away, so Bucky followed.

“If you must know, yes.”

“Well where is he?”

“He went home.”

“What? Why?”

“He proved he’s better than his old man.” Tony turned back to Bucky, a look of pride on his face. “He chose to stay in school.”

“As opposed to what?”

“What do you mean, as opposed to what?” Tony turned back to face him. “Where did I lose you? Would you like me to draw you a picture?”

“Suck my dick.”

“You couldn’t afford me, sweetheart.” He turned and started walking again.

“Look, I know you think you say stuff out loud all the time--but guess what? As much as you talk, you like to skip details when you’re rambling on to other people.”

“What? How dare you blame me for your own inattention? You should really get that looked into, Barnes.”

“Don’t gaslight me, Tony. I hate that. My memory’s good now.”

“Are you sure?” He turned back, smirking.

“Anyone ever told you you’re a sadistic sonofabitch?”

“No.” Tony leaned against the doorway, posing. Smirking. “Tell me more.”

“Just answer my damn question.”

“No. It’s a moot point anyway.” Tony was turning away, preparing to go through the door in a way that told Bucky he wasn’t welcome to follow.

“But I--I wanted to meet him. You talked so much about him.”

“You’re the one who wanted to stay with Steve until the last possible moment.”

“That wasn’t really up to me--”

“Well, life’s full of tough choices, innit?” he vamped, disappearing through the door.

“Did you---did you just quote Ursula the sea witch????”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch those movies.”

“You did, though, right?”

“Get lost, Barnes. This conversation is over.” Bucky withdrew, a little hurt. Tony was the one who’d still been answering from the other side of the door, after all.

*

“So.” It was just a moment together, while Wilson finished up with reporters and Tony did his best not to think of Barnes, whom he’d left behind to sulk in the hall after his near-disaster with the press. Tony could do this. He could do this.

He and Pepper were sitting together--actually together--on the loveseat. And Happy was supervising. It was odd having a chaperone who wanted hanky-panky to happen.

“So.” Pepper’s face was so close to his. He could smell her perfume. The taste of her lip gloss was still on his tongue.

“So.” She smiled, blushing, radiant. He’d missed having this effect on her.

“Did you kind of…” He had the ring in his pocket. Reach for it, Tony. You can do this. How many times had be played this over in his head? Sure, it usually ended badly in his imagination, but Happy was here. It’d be fine. Right? “Want me…”

“Maybe.” She smirked at him, knowing he was struggling. Pepper had always loved to torture him.

“Oh good. No, wait. What I meant was--”

“ASK HER.” Happy was so dad-like when he leaned forward in his chair like that, threatening.

Tony hedged, glancing away from her. “I mean--you said you had a better idea for an announcement--”

“I did.” She nodded, smiling patiently.

Then Tony noticed something. Pepper had her hand on her stomach--no. Worse. Her palm was resting over her uterus. “You’re not...?” Okay, maybe that question should have been asked with excitement instead of horror. But he and Pepper were just starting to rebuild this wild rollercoaster that was their relationship. It was a bit early to be thinking--

“I’m going to the doctor tomorrow,” she said. “Then we’ll know for sure.”

Happy looked like he wasn’t sure how to feel. Tony was glad he wasn’t the only one. “Aren’t you supposed to not tell anyone before the fetus is bigger?” he asked, sounding nervous. “Isn’t it bad luck or something?”

Tony’s mind was reeling. Hadn’t Steve asked him just this question when they’d talked in Berlin? Had Rogers cursed him? Blessed him? Tony just didn’t know.

“No one’s announcing anything officially yet,” Pepper said, glowing. She took Tony’s hand, threading their fingers together. “But…” She looked down, then glanced up at Tony through her translucent eyelashes, coy. “I wanted to know...what you think.”

Okay, this was not fair. Tony felt like he’d been harpooned. How was he supposed to get out of this? “I mean, I think--” They’d only had sex again for the first time two months ago. Logically, it was possible. But Tony was always careful. So what were the odds? He started calculating… “--I think it’s wonderful!” He plastered on a fake smile, realizing from the look on her face he’d waited too long to finish the sentence. “That would be--now no pressure, sweetheart, if it’s a false alarm this time, we can keep trying.” WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, TONY? the voice of logic shouted in his head.

Pepper gasped.

“If--I mean, if that’s what you want.” He squeezed her hand, leaning in. “I’m here for the long haul, Pep. Whatever brings you back to me for good. I wanna make this work.” Did he? Well who else was ever going to accept him now Steve had gone over to the dark side? Without Pepper, he was like a single dad, raising his teenage son alone. Not that Pepper had had any decent advice for how he should deal with Peter. Honestly, he’d never thought she even liked kids...and what did that mean? Was this child being conceived to cement their relationship? Or was it a secure your immortality thing, like it had been with Howard? Because Tony was having absolutely none of that.

She was giving him one of those odd, searching, blinky looks. “I really want to believe you this time, Tony.”

“Believe me,” he pleaded with her, bringing her hand to his heart. “Please. I mean it. I really mean it.” He couldn’t lose her again. Forget personal stuff, this company simply wouldn’t run without her.

She chuckled, pleased, and pressed her lips to his. Pepper had always loved it when he begged. And contrary to popular belief, Tony Stark was not too proud to beg. Especially with his sanity on the line. “Should I... come with you tomorrow?” he murmured, their noses almost touching.

“What? No!” Oh, and there was prim Virginia, firmly back in place.

“Oh, okay, well. Sorry, I really don’t know how any of this is supposed to work.”

“Don’t worry, Tony,” she smiled flirtatiously. “If I’m right, we can do future visits together. Just not this one. Just in case.”

He nodded, because he supposed that was what he was supposed to do. “Okay, love. You just tell me. What you want me to do. And I’ll do it. Promise. Whatever you want.” He was teasing for another kiss, but he must have said something wrong, because she was backing off again.

“Tony, we’ve talked about this.” He looked at her, uncertain. “I can’t always tell you what the right thing is to do. At some point, you just have to know.”

“Right, of course. Mea culpa.” He tried gathering her back into his arms, but she wasn’t having it.

“No. This is exactly what I’m talking about.” She rose from the loveseat. “I need to be there when the press conference gets out.”

“Right. Of course.”

She raised an eyebrow at Happy. “Weren’t you supposed to be giving Mr. Parker a ride back home?”

“Right. Yep. You know, about that...” Tony watched him struggling to get out of the chair and walked over to give him a hand up. Why did Happy always try so hard around Pepper? It came off as pathetic. And it was a real turn-off. He glared at Tony, as though it was his fault he’d gotten stuck in the comfy chair.

“Go on, now. You’ve got your orders,” Tony told him.

Happy hesitated as if there were something he was afraid to tell them. At this point, Tony didn’t want to know. He couldn’t handle anymore crises or bombshells today. So he was relieved when Happy just turned and left, apparently thinking better of whatever he’d been about to say.

When Happy was gone, he turned back to Pepper. “So we’re…we’re doing this? We’re trying? You’re giving me a chance?”

She let him take her hand. “We’re...for now, we’re waiting expectantly.” She smiled demurely. “And then...we’ll see what happens.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, of course.” Too much. “We can--I can do that. Absolutely. Easy as pie. Look, I already did it. It’s done--I mean, it will be. Tomorrow. I’ll be there with bells on.” He kissed her on the cheek and went to find Rhodey before he had a full-blown panic attack in front of Pepper. Somehow, he didn’t think she’d find it attractive.

*

“Get off my lawn, you damn kids!” Tony found Rhodey pressed up against the wall of windows, shaking his cane at someone outside.

“What’s the trouble, grandpa? The neighborhood kids ring the doorbell and run again?”

But when Rhodey turned, he looked worried. “Tony, who the hell is that guy?”

“What guy?” Tony moved up to stand next to him.

“The one trimming all the hedges into obscene shapes.”

Tony blinked at his $5000 15 foot Eugenia hedge that was now shaped like cock and balls. And then he saw it. The familiar cowled head. “Oh no. How the hell did he get in here?”

“That’s a really good question.” He glanced over at Tony, saw him calculating how best to summon the armor. “You need backup?”

“Call Happy. Tell him security’s failing at the most basic things today. Tell him I’m putting him and the entire team on notice.” A cameo appearance by Wilson was not something Happy should have kept to himself.

*

“What’s the next shape we should make?” Wade was asking Peter, excited. “I know! A unicorn!”

Peter just looked nervous. He’d been trying to lose this guy ever since the property damage had started, but Wade seemed determined to stick with him like glue. “I--I don’t think it’s a good idea to ruin any more of Mr. Stark’s hedges.”

“Oh, come on! Stark’s a gajillionaire. You don’t think he trims those hedges? I got $5 that says he’s actually gone full Brazilian down there.”

Peter just stared at him, wide-eyed.

“Okay, I lied. I don’t have $5. But if you could just spot me this once, I swear it’ll pay off.” He smiled sweetly. How Peter could tell that behind the mask, he wasn’t sure. But he could. “There’s a kiss in it for ya.”

“Ohhhh, no thanks, Mr--Wade. I’m good. Five bucks? Sure, you got it. Five bucks is no big deal.”

“I’ll just owe you a kiss then❤.” He sounded far too pleased, trimming the enormous hedge into a spiral horn.

“No, that’s…” Peter was backing way. “That’s really okay.”

\--Hey you kids--

They both turned to look at the angry man gesticulating from the second floor. “Uh oh.” Wait, did the guy have no pants on?

“Whee! I think it’s about to get fun!” Wade said, hopping up and down.

“Do you even know Mr. Stark?” Peter asked.

“Know him? Why, we’re practically best friends! I get thrown out of more of his parties than anyone!”

Peter made a face. “That doesn’t really sound like best friends...”

The sound of the jet boots heralded the arrival of Iron Man. Peter would forever be wondering if Tony was really inside. It kind of messed with his head.

“Mom❤! So great to see you❤!” Peter watched Wade clap his excited clap before leaping twenty feet into the air to try and give Iron Man a hug. Iron Man rebuffed him with a firm fist in the face. Peter gasped, but Wade seemed to take it in stride.

“What are you doing here, Wilson?”

“Well I heard you were having a housewarming party to celebrate your move upstate, and I figured my invitation must’ve gotten lost in the mail--”

“No. You weren’t invited. You never are. Now leave.”

“Aw, you don’t mean that.” He sounded a little hurt.

“And you owe me for five new hedges.”

“I made them better!” Wade put his hands behind his back and bounced excitedly.

“And stay away from the kid. You’re a bad influence.”

“Now that I will not do.” Wade said, suddenly sounding serious. “Dad... Mom... Dad-Mom. I have something serious to ask you.”

“Not interested.” Tony flew down and picked him up by the back of the suit, like he was taking out the trash.

“Now, these are modern times, so it’s not like I need your permission, but I thought I’d be traditional and ask anyway.”

“Get out of my life, Wilson. How many times do I have to tell you?” Tony was flying Wade toward the gate. “Charles wants you. Why don’t you ever pester him?”

“I don’t wanna be an X-rated man!” Deadpool whined, stomping his foot in mid-air. “So anyway.” He cleared his throat and continued reasonably, “Peter and I are in love, and I’d like to ask you for his hand.”

“Peter is fifteen years old. You wanna go to jail for being BadTouch the Clown?”

“Fifteen?” Deadpool gasped.

“Um. Bye, Wade!” Peter called out as Iron Man flew past the front gate and kept going. Maybe he was taking him all the way back to the city? Wait, where did Wade live? Peter couldn’t remember if he’d even told him.

*

Bucky waited anxiously for Sam to be done with the reporters. He wished there was something he could do to help. But there wasn’t. And Sam didn’t need his help. Still, he was relieved when the platform started to turn again, and Sam stepped down to join him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, but I need a damn drink. Come on.” He towed Bucky by the shirtsleeve toward the nearest kitchen. They passed Pepper Potts and Tony’s bodyguard on the way, both giving them the side-eye.

“What do you think that’s about?” Bucky asked Sam softly.

“Man, how long you got?” There were reams of paper in Ms. Potts psych evaluation, and he hadn’t even put pen to paper yet. Stark wanted his expertise, he was going to have to pay him and come up with a decent contract.

Once they were in the kitchen, Sam felt at ease to speak a little more freely to his little friend. “First off, you gotta have figured out someone put you out there on purpose, right?”

“Right.”

Sam nodded, pulling two bottles from the fridge and handing Bucky one. “So who was it? Stark?”

“He has every right to be mad at me.”

“Okay, but before we go down that angsty road again, think a minute. He stands to lose a lot if the authorities find out you’re here.”

“He’s a masochist?”

Sam leaned back against the prep island and tried to relax the muscles in his neck and shoulders. Seeing it, Bucky stepped over to help, turning Sam around and kneading with both flesh and metal fingers. Bucky was codependent as fuck, but it felt good right now. Sam wasn’t going to stop him. “That’s true, but I think the explanation is a little more complicated.”

“Vision?” Bucky asked.

“Okay, stop guessing names and think for a minute. Who wants you out of this place like burning?”

Bucky looked hurt. Maybe he hadn’t noticed. “Who?”

Sam sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I need out of this damn contraption. Wanna come help me?”

Bucky shrugged. “Sure.” He followed Sam to the suite they were currently sharing. Tony had prepared separate ones for each of them, but Bucky had PTSD nightmares every time he fell asleep, and it was just easier for Sam to ease him down if he was rooms away instead of halls. He stepped into the equipment room and went to stand under the droid arms that attached and removed his wings. It was weird, but Sam was learning to deal with it. Stark tech was just way too advanced to be real sometimes.

“Hey, how are you and Tony doing lately?” he asked, pretending to change the subject. He watched Bucky considering the question, decide which parts he could tell Sam and which he wanted to hold close to the vest.

“Good.” He nodded. “I think.” He ran fingers through his long hair. “Really good, considering.”

“You guys were gonna do a bonding retreat luncheon thing Monday, right? What happened?”

“Aw, Tony had to leave before we even got our food.”

“For real? What excuse did he give?” Sam would have to report that to Tony’s psychiatrist.

“Oh no, he had to go help the kid. I wanted to come, but he said someone might recognize me.” Bucky deflated a little.

Sam knew it was hard for Bucky, whose main motivation was helping others, to have to sit on the sidelines because he was a wanted criminal. He’d had to have a sit-down with both him and Steve about it, because Steve wasn’t above taking advantage of his best friend’s nobler instincts to pull him back into the action (either of his best friends, as it so happened). Steve hated to work alone, and he missed Bucky like crazy when they were apart, but this was just how it had to be until legal stuff got sorted. Stark had said he could finagle it, but after four months, Sam wasn’t so sure. “But the kid was okay, right?”

“Nah, he grounded him.”

“Seriously?” He hoped Dr. Feinstein was pursuing parenting as a topic with Tony. It sounded like he was handling some stuff he wasn’t prepared for as a stand-in father figure.

Bucky nodded. “He took the kid’s suit away.”

“Damn.”

“I told him it was too harsh, but. He’s tryin’, you know. I don’t think he had such a good role model for being a dad.”

“I’ll say.”

Bucky shrugged, uncomfortable. “I remember Howard bein’ a dick, but…”  
  
The armor and wings gone, Sam moved to the wardrobe to pick out some clothes that weren’t the skin-tight undersuit he had to wear with the new get-up. Bucky followed. “How does it make you feel,” Sam asked, low-key, “to know that Howard turned out to be an abusive dad? That he did a lot of damage to Tony, mentally?”

“It makes me pissed off.” Bucky’s reply was instantaneous. Genuine, straight from the gut. “I mean, Howard was always a dick to women. I even had to pull him aside a time or two--I mean, I got three sisters. I didn’t like the way he talked about ‘em, you know? It was disrespectful.”

“That’s a firm memory,” Sam observed.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. He’d been assigned to work on memories of the Starks. Sam hoped it would help him come to terms with their murders. “But I never thought he’d be a bad dad--I mean, I never thought about it, honest.”

“Let’s be real, though,” Sam had to step in. “There were plenty of worse dads in history than Howard Stark.” Bucky just nodded. They both knew. Stark had never resorted to beating his wife or his son, as George Barnes had.

“I just. I don’t like it,” Bucky kept on.

“Why?”

“I--” Bucky took a breath. “I don’t like the idea of Tony suffering.”

“Why?”

“Because--he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Why?” Sometimes he really had to push to get those cathartic moments.

“Because he was just a kid when I--when he lost ‘em. He’s suffered enough.” Bucky was starting to show the wear and tear of this memory/confession session.

Sam gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Alright. Good job, man.”

Bucky smiled. Therapy was hard. No one had said it wasn’t, or that it wouldn’t be for him. But he was doing it. “Now turn around so I can take my pants off.”

Bucky laughed. “What’s to see? Gimme a break.”

“Don’t you be insulting my manhood like that.”

Bucky was still laughing. It was a great sound. “You say it like I don’t got one of my own.”

“I dunno, Nat has a different story.” It was great to tease him and get a normal human reaction.

“Natasha?! What’d she say!?”

“Ohhhhh, sorry, buddy. That’s confidential.”

“What?!” Sam had only one pant leg on when Bucky tackled him for some playful wrestling.

“Get off me!” Sam joked. “This is exactly why I swore I’d never go to prison!”

“Why, cuz you’re too pretty?” Bucky asked, twisting Sam’s arm behind his back.

“Jealous!” They both laughed, but it didn’t stop either one of them from trying to pin the other.

*

“What the hell are they doing in there?” Tony asked.

“They appear to be wrestling,” FRIDAY answered. “Perhaps engaging in pre-coital activities...” Rhodey had to glance sideways at that. How did the AI manage to throw shade?

“Oh, god!” Tony quickly shut off the feed.

Rhodey laughed, clapping his hands. “That’s what you get for spying on ‘em.”

“Babycakes!” Tony smiled, draping himself over the back of Rhodey’s wheelchair. Rhodey leaned away, prepared to rebuff Tony’s advances. “You say that like you don’t spend all day watching us on the monitors like some sort of soap opera.”

Rhodey snorted. “It is a damn soap opera. You know how much money I’d make if I turned this script over to MTV?”

Tony looked offended. “Are you implying that my house is full of drama?”

“I don’t have to imply anything. I was at that press conference today. And you’re the queen of drama; you should know!”

“Oh, come on! You know you love me, huggybear. C’mere, give daddy a kiss.” That began a wrestling match that involved Tony trying to kiss the crown of Rhodey’s head and Rhodey trying to keep Tony at bay without hurting him. Tony would always try to change the subject by showering him with unwanted physical affection.

Finally, it was over. He was leaning back in his chair, sweating, and Tony was sucking the lemon wedge Vision had thoughtfully put in Rhodey’s water. It had been a close one, but stoppers helped. Honestly, Rhodey thought maybe he’d always carry a lemon wedge now. Maybe it would help shut Tony up every once in a while. “Seriously, though, Tony. What was with that conference earlier?”

“That was not my fault!” Tony was in deep denial, moving over to Rhodey’s workbench to take a look at his current projects.

“Okay, well whose idea was it to throw a brother out there in front of reporters and just leave him to the wolves?”

“I admit, I got distracted.” Tony shrugged.

“By Pepper.” Rhodey didn’t sound pleased about it.

“Yeah, who else? No regrets, by the way.” It was a new argument. Rhodey couldn’t understand why Tony had gotten back together with Pepper so quickly after she’d basically left him for being Iron Man. Which wasn’t an eccentric hobby, but a vocation. Which any decent partner would have been able to understand. And now they were practically engaged. Something just didn’t feel right to him about all of it.

“Fine. You wanna explain how exactly Barnes got stuck out there with Sam?” Rhodey wanted to know.

Tony shrugged again, examining some intricate circuitry. He’d put his glasses on, something he only did in front of his best friend. “How should I know? Barnes gets confused. He probably walked out when he should have walked in. You know how these geriatric supersoldiers are.”

“Give me a break, Tony. Someone trapped him out there, and you know it.”

That made Tony look up. “That’s ridiculous. I did no such thing.”

“I didn’t say YOU.”

Tony pretended to be interested in another bit of robotics. “I don’t know what you’re implying, but if I did, I probably wouldn’t like it.”

“Go and teach your grandmother to suck eggs, Tony. Since when has you threatening me ever worked? I’m telling you how it is, because you know nobody else will.”

“So say it!” Tony looked up, irritated. “Say what it is that you’re thinking, but it’s totally not true, and I’m not even listening.”

“Oh. Very mature.”

“Thank you.” Tony adjusted his glasses, trying to look suave.

“Does Pepper know?”

“Does Pepper know what?”

“That you go out on these assigned dates with Barnes?”

“Shhhhh! Will you keep your voice down?” Tony glanced around the workroom, paranoid. He ran to the door to peek outside, but the coast was clear.

“That’s what I thought.” Rhodey crossed his arms, looking smug.

“Look, those are not dates, they’re therapy assignments we both have to do, or Wilson walks.”

“But you’ve enjoyed them so far.”

“How do you know what I enjoy?” Just in case the deflection wasn’t enough, Tony started to pace the room, pretending to look at a circuit board he’d taken off the workbench.

“You think it’s because he reminds you of Cap, but you’re wrong, Tony.”

“Now he even knows what I think!” Tony complained to U.

“He reminds you of your mom.”

That threw Tony for a loop. He stopped pacing. “Come again?”

“He’s always worried about how you feel, right? Always apologizing for everything? Always fussing over you. I’m telling you, stick that guy in front of a piano and you’re gonna have deja vu.”

Tony was disgusted. “Don’t be gross.”

“He’s the last link you have to her,” Rhodey said. “Admit it. The thought’s crossed your mind.”

“What? That some part of her stayed with him?” Tony was looking toward the high windows in the far wall, but he wasn’t really seeing anything.

“Now who knows what you’re thinking, smart guy?”

“Can we just stop this conversation? You’re creeping me out. Seriously. You’ve been alone in here too long.”

“Well I won’t argue that point.” The press conference had been the high point in Rhodey’s week, even though it had nearly ended in disaster. “Got any suggestions?”

“How about a test flight? I’ve got the new suit adjusted. Tell me how it feels?”

“Okay, but I’m not gonna let you avoid this subject forever, Tony.”

“Oh, believe me.” Tony slung his arm around Rhodey’s shoulders. “I know.”

“And can I just ask how in the hell a white supremacist newsblog got invited here today for the unveiling of our first black Captain America?”

“I did not invite them,” Tony insisted.

“Do you honestly think they’re actually okay with you now? You buried it deep, but any journalist worth his salt can find out your grandparents died in Dachau.”

“I’m not ashamed of that fact.” Interesting how he was suddenly damn defensive, though.

“But you’re gonna host Nazis in your house?”

“Fine. Next time I’ll have them shot at the gate.”

“It’s a start,” Rhodey said, making sure his prosthetic legs were secure before he pulled himself into a standing position. Tony was just looking at him. “What?”

“Thank you for calling me on my bullshit.” His eyes were watery.

“Come here, you little asshole.” Most people forgot Tony Stark needed a hug now and then. But not Rhodey.


	2. Coping Mechanisms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter explores the Avengers compound and makes new friends. Bucky accidentally walks in on Tony in a compromising position, and Tony decides turnabout is fair play. Rhodey joins Sam and Bucky for one last game night, and Bucky gets TMI about Sam's love life. Pepper has a revealing OB/GYN appointment. And Tony wakes up in Bucky's bed, jumping to conclusions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features the first work of art by [Araydre](http://archiveofourown.org/users/araydre/pseuds/araydre)! She did another for the last chapter. It was such a pleasure working with her on this. I feel blessed she chose my fic to do art for.

 

After watching Mr. Stark fly away with Wade, Peter found himself at loose ends. Happy was nowhere to be found, and if Peter was honest, he didn’t really want to find Happy. Just seeing what little he’d been able to on his romp with Wade, Peter really wanted to do a little exploring before he was shipped back to Queens. Also, he didn’t like the way Happy had locked him into the car last time. Happy had always been grumpy with him, but trying to keep him prisoner didn’t sit well with Peter. So he decided to take a look around without a chaperone; see what he would be missing.

All the labs and workrooms seemed to need a passkey, and that sucked. He tried asking the complex AI to let him in, but she’d been snarky and told him it wasn’t his business. How do you make an AI snarky? Peter didn’t like her. He missed KAREN. Would he get another suit, now that he’d turned down the super hi-tech one? He hoped so. Losing the suit was brutal enough, but losing his friend, too?

In a room upstairs--kind of like a living room--he stumbled across that crazy red guy, playing chess with himself. “Oh, hi.” Peter waved awkwardly. “I’m Peter. You probably...don’t remember me.”

“On the contrary.”

Whoa, red guy had a British accent. And a silver cape--so cool!

“I remember you in detail, Mr. Parker.” He floated--floated!--across the room to offer Peter his hand to shake. He did it awkwardly, kind of like a robot learning how to be a man. But that was what he was, right?

Peter asked him 101 questions about his origins. He could tell most of the answers were classified from the way Vision answered them, but still, he tried. Then they played chess. Because chess was awesome.

“It’s better playing chess with another person, right?” Peter asked him, making the first move and hitting the timer.

“Oh, but I was, Mr. Parker.” Vision didn’t hesitate before countering. That made Peter nervous.

“Whoa, is there someone invisible here?” Peter glanced all around, trying to use his spidey-senses to find them.

“Er...no. I was speaking of Ms FRIDAY, Sir’s new artificial intelligence.”

“Whoa, you’re friends with an AI?” Wait, was it that mean lady?

“Me, too! Hey, do you know KAREN?” 

Vision returned a blank look. “KAREN, Sir?”

“Yeah, the AI in my suit? She’s so great. She’s kind of my best friend, actually.” He sighed, remembering all the good times they’d had. Figuring out web combinations, trying to save the Staten Island Ferry...

“Ah, yes. The nanny protocol.”

“Nanny?” Peter didn’t like the sound of that.

“Did you find her to your liking?”

Peter felt awkward now. “Well, yeah, I--like I said, she’s my friend.”

Vision seemed interested now. In a different way. “Do you find it deters you in any way from...genuine emotional feeling that your...friend--as you say--is a computer program?”

Way to make him feel even more awkward. “Well, no,” Peter said. “I don’t think of her that way. I mean--she’s evolving, right? With my needs and like. Abilities and everything? So it’s not like she’s some static code, she’s an actual person.”

Vision was nodding. “And would you ever consider going on a date with...such a person?”

Whoa. Peter was feeling super freaked out now. “Well, I mean. I don’t think that’s what the program’s for. You know?” Plus, nanny protocol? What was he, five? Wanting to marry his nanny?

“And if the...program were to gain sentience? To become self-aware? Would that change your feeling?”

“Well, I guess I’d have to get to know her, you know? She’d be like any other girl I met.” Wait, what if she wasn’t a girl?

Vision stared at the floor, coming to some sudden realization. “Thank you, Mr. Parker.”

“Hey, Viz, you know you can call me Peter.”

“Peter.” He said it like a confused Neverland Pirate. “Thank you, Peter. If you’ll excuse me for just a moment, I must make a phone call.”

“Hey, do what you gotta do.” But then he was gone, and Peter was bored again. He looked at the chess game. Wait, was that a foosball table?

He was just getting up to check it out when two new guys wandered into the room. They were smiling and shoving at one another, like hardcore bros--maybe actual siblings for all Peter knew. “You’re a butthead.”

“No YOU’RE Butthead.”

“You’re totally Butthead.”

“If I am, that makes you Beavis, Cornholio.”

“Actually, I think you might be Weird Harold.”

“Okay, hold up. If we’re talking Junkyard Band, who are you supposed to be?”

A slow grin spread over his face. “Bucky.”

The man with the goatee shook his head. “I knew I never should’ve let you get into my DVD collection.” He paused. “But you’re still a BUTTHEAD.” The two had reached the kitchen, and were pulling out food for sandwiches, opening beers. They didn’t seem to have seen him, and Peter felt a little weird eavesdropping on them.

“Uh. Hey.” He raised a hand. “Hi-lo.” What? He was nervous! “I’m Peter. How are--no hard feelings, I hope?” They had both stopped and were staring at him the way a lioness stares at a wounded gazelle. Then the guy with the long hair blinked in recognition.

“Wait, Peter? Peter Parker?”

Suddenly he was even more nervous. His smile widened. “That’s me!”

The guy with the metal arm rushed forward to meet him. “Hey, I’m Bucky. Tony told me about you.”

Peter tried not to fanboy over his metal arm but like. He was touching it again, shaking his metal hand! A brand new metal hand! So cool! “Oh wow, I mean. Jeez! I didn’t know Mr. Stark talked about me to anyone. That’s pretty great.”

Bucky offered him a smile like someone who hadn’t had much practice smiling. “Yeah, he’s really proud of you.”

“He is?!” Peter thought he might pass out. All he really wanted was to make Mr. Stark proud. Well, that and take care of Aunt May. And keep Queens safe. And figure out a way to date Liz after putting her dad in jail...

The other guy gave Peter a chin-nod, interrupting his honey-do list. “What’s up, Pete? You want a sandwich?”

“Yeah, actually, a sandwich sounds pretty amazing right now.”

“What, did Stark just let you loose to graze or something? That guy is something else.” He shook his head, diving back into the fridge for pickles.

While the guy formerly of the carbon fiber wings set about making sandwiches for all of them, the metal arm guy--Bucky--followed Peter into the kitchen area, looking concerned. “When’s the last time you ate, kid?”

“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged, uncomfortable. “Aunt May cooked breakfast this morning. Only she always burns the eggs, so we just went to the diner down the block.”

“Where is she now?” Bucky asked. The kid really did look so small and lost.

“Oh, she’s back in Queens.”

“Queens!?” There was a certain way people from New York--who didn’t live in Queens--said the word.

“Hey, Queens ain’t so bad!”

“He’s plucky, I’ll give him that,” Sam said.

“That’s Harlem on the sandwiches,” Bucky told him. “I’m Brooklyn. Nice to meet you, Queens.” The kid looked confused, gave a small wave at the second introduction.

“So what do you like to do for fun, kid?” Bucky glanced around. So many games to choose from in here.

“Eh, mostly fight crime,” he said very casually. “Rebuild old tech I find in the trash. Sometimes build legos.”

“Legos?” What were those? Bucky wondered. Were they anything like Eggos?

“Yeah, you know the little--oh. Do they not have those where you’re from?”  _ Where do metal arm guys come from? _

“Don’t mind him,” Sam said. “He played with dinosaurs when he was little. Legos are way over his head.”

“Why don’t you go fly a kite?” Bucky turned around to tell him.

“Why don’t you make me?” That was it; it was on. Bucky walked around the counter to grab Sam in a noogie hold, and a fight ensued, involving flesh and blood arms, mayonnaise, and cold cuts. By the end, they were both covered in condiments.

“Wow, that was pretty awesome!” Peter laughed, nibbling on a stray slice of bologna that had come flying his way. “Do you guys do that a lot?” Maybe he was missing out not being part of this crew.

“Only when he deserves it,” Sam said.

“Only when he starts it,” Bucky said. Peter was just grinning and grinning.

“Anyway, sorry about that. Since we weren’t properly introduced earlier…” He shot Bucky an accusatory look. “I’m Sam, and of course you already know Butthead.” Peter cracked up.

“Bucky.” He glowered. “My name is Bucky.”

“Cool name!” Peter hadn’t had a chance to say earlier.

“I...yeah.” He’d actually never gotten that reaction before.

“For Howdy Doodie’s boyfriend, maybe.”

“You want more mustard in your mustache, smart guy?”

“Bring it!”

Peter rescued the half-made sandwiches while they got into another food fight. He could actually live in a place like this. But Aunt May...somehow Peter doubted she was invited. And he could never leave Aunt May.

“Hey, what’s with the long face?” Metal arm guy--Bucky--noticed first. He seemed to be the hypersensitive one. Maybe it had to do with the arm. Could arms have their own superpowers?

“Oh, I was just thinkin’ about…” Should he tell them? “...a decision I made earlier today. Wondering if I did the right thing.”

“Decision, huh?” Having failed at sandwiches, Sam reached into the fridge and drew out a lemon meringue pie with one piece missing.

“Whoa, pie!”

“This is a kid after my own heart,” Bucky smiled.

“You just have a bottomless stomach, Butthead.” Sam cut a slice and gave it to Peter. Then he cut one for himself. Then he carefully wrapped up the rest of the pie and put it back in the fridge.

“Hey!” Bucky protested.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want some?”

Bucky had barely started to nod when Sam shouted, “Get it your damn self!” Peter wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh, but he couldn’t help it.

“This guy,” Bucky complained. “Always bustin’ my balls.”

“You better believe it,” Sam said, digging into his pie. “This guy tore my car apart in the middle of the Capital Beltway at rush hour, and he thinks we’re just supposed to be cool now.”

“Whoa, what happened?”

“It’s a long story.” Sam glanced sideways at Bucky.

“First tell us about your decision,” Bucky suggested, returning with the pie and just eating it out of the tin.

“Well.” Peter felt awkward. “I don’t know if I should really tell.” He glanced around. “You guys are Avengers, right?” Sam and Bucky exchanged a look.

“More or less. We’re really a group of three.”

“Only we’re missing one,” Bucky added. “He’s not allowed in the complex.”

“No?” Pete asked. “How come?”

“Him and Tony broke up.” Peter might have asked what that meant--Mr. Stark was bi?--but suddenly Bucky was spitting pie across the table, choking, reaching for his water.

“You gotta warn me before you say shit like that,” Bucky wheezed.

“Come on, you know it’s true.”

“No I do not know! Steve would have told me.” Sam just gave him a ‘Really?’ look. “He would have!”

“Right, because when you’re the star-spangled man, it’s easy to tell your boyhood hero that you’re gay-married to the biggest asshole on the planet when you see each other for the first time in seventy years.”

“That’s right!” Peter realized. “You’re friends with Captain America!” Both of them were suddenly looking very closely at Peter. It made him nervous. But he did his best to smile. “Oh, uh. He’s in my gym videos.” 

“What?”

“Yeah, and also detention, driver’s ed, sex ed…” Peter counted on his fingers.

“Hold up.” Sam held up a hand. “You’re saying Steve Rogers did PSAs for your school?”

“Yeah. They’re like. Government mandated or whatever.”

“Oh HELL no.”

“I’mma ask the youtube.” Bucky was frantically pushing buttons on his phone.

“It’s youtube, genius. Youtube. Not ‘the youtube’ like the magic 8 ball or something.”

“Shut up. I’m learnin’.”

“Okay, old man.” He smirked conspiratorially at Peter.

“Here.” Peter just held up his phone, already having found it.

_ Hi. I’m Captain America. _

“Oh my god.”

“Noooooooooo, Steve...”

_ And I’d like to talk to you about your changing body. _

Bucky looked horrified. Sam collapsed on the floor, laughing. But Bucky joined him a few seconds later. Peter started to giggle, watching them. He let the video play, and it was one of the funnier ones. They couldn’t seem to stop laughing, and soon Peter was stretched out over the counter, crying with laughter, too.

_ One morning, you may wake up to a wet spot on your sheets. _

Sam screamed and the laughter started all over again. “No! I’m gonna pee!”

Peter gasped for air. “You guys are too funny.” Maybe he really had made the wrong decision. But how would he ever see Ned again if he became an Avenger?

“Oh shit, I peed!” The laughter was just breathless gasps now.

“Oh my god no! Why?!” But they still couldn’t stop laughing. Peter headed for the nearest restroom, giggling. Hopefully he could make it.

 

*

 

“I’m gonna go shower,” Bucky said, grumpy. “You did that on purpose.”

“Dude, if I’d done it on purpose, I woulda pissed in your beer.”

“You big butthead!” Bucky was tired of trying to think of snappy comebacks. He needed to work on more of those. At night, in bed, when he was lying awake, he would write some good ones in his notebook. But with Sam, he always seemed to go through them before lunch. Between him and motormouth Tony, Bucky was starting to feel like the dunce of the complex.

He was on his way to the shower, considering just stripping off his jeans along the way, distracted trying to think of snappy comebacks. That was probably how he’d opened that door. If he’d been paying attention, Bucky would have realised that door didn’t lead to a shower. Or the suite of rooms he shared with Sam. But in an instant, it didn’t matter that he’d opened a utility closet door instead of the door he’d wanted, because Tony was in there. Bent over at an odd angle, doing something between his fingers--wait. Was that a needle? “What’s going on?”

“What? Nothing. Nothing at all, absolutely nothing is going on, why do you ask?” While he was rambling, Tony concealed the syringe up his sleeve, but Bucky knew exactly where it was. He walked over and pushed up Tony’s sleeve to reveal it.

“Are you using, Tony?”

“What? No, that’s ridiculous.” Trying to act innocent, and looked just the opposite. “This is just--it’s nanobots. It’s a tech thing, you wouldn’t understand.”

Bucky raised the needle to his nose and took a whiff. Definitely not tiny robots. “I’m sorry, Tony,” Bucky said sadly. “I gotta tell Sam.”

“No, wait!” Tony started to laugh nervously. “Wait wait wait wait wait.” Bucky was backing away, so Tony followed. “There’s no reason to bug Sam with this--it’s such a little thing--nothing, really. If you think about it--no big deal at all. Come on, pal, hand over the needle.”

Bucky looked very serious. “I can’t do that, Tony.”

“Hand it over.”

“Even if I did, I’m still telling Sam.”

“Sure, I get it. Do what you gotta do. Just give daddy back the needle, huh? He needs it for strategic...science...technology purposes.”

“Fine.” Bucky held up the needle. Squirted its contents all over the carpet. Handed it back to Tony.

“You’re a real dick, you know that?”

“Love you, too, Tony.” Bucky kept going to the shower. But he felt...weird. Sad? Bad. Catching Tony shooting up just made him feel sad. And somehow responsible.

 

*

 

Tony watched Bucky head down the hall with a growing sense of dread--what was that stain on his jeans? Okay, so he’d started using again. Just a little here, a little there. Something to take the edge off. Tony had needed something to fall back on after getting his heart ripped out in Siberia. And he couldn’t lean on Rhodey the way he used to. Rhodey needed him now. To be strong. To push him through his own depression--and he had way better reasons to be depressed than Tony did. 

Okay, so he’d lost the love of his life in a life or death battle that had nearly ended in death. And he’d watched his parents murdered before his eyes. And the love of his life was in love with their murderer. And had known about their murder for years, and not told Tony. No big deal. At least he could still walk.

Pepper coming back had been the one good thing: the best thing, really. Only Pepper came with strings attached, and Tony was terrified--certain was the word--that he’d accidentally cut one of those strings again, and she’d be gone. And then he’d be all alone, dying in Siberia, and what would Vision do without his dad? What would become of Peter Parker, who seemed bound and determined to get himself killed saving Queens? What would Rhodey--actually, Rhodey would probably be better off without him. All Tony had ever caused him was grief and devastation.

So, yes. He’d needed something to take the edge off. Especially after Rhodey had managed to summon the specter of his German grandparents this morning after the press conference. No crushing guilt or terror involved in that memory, thanks.  

Anyhow, he could quit any time he wanted to. But now Mr. Cutieface, Don’t-Hate-Me-Because-I-Strangled-Your-Mom, had caught him. And he was gonna tell. And one of the strings would be cut. And Sam would probably quit and disappear back to wherever Rogers kept his lair now. And Rhodey would move back home. And Vision would be taken away by Child Protective Services. And Peter was already gone. Tony would be all alone again. All alone and stuck in the living hell that was his own head.

_ Hell with it. _ Bucky had only taken the syringe he’d been using. Tony had more. He took the next one out of the gold case in his pocket.

 

*

 

Bucky was halfway through his shower when he suddenly turned around to find he was not alone. “Hey there, sailor.” 

“Tony, why are you in my shower?”

“I just thought maybe...you needed some help.” His pupils were blown. He was high as fuck.

“I don’t need help, Tony.” Bucky tried to hide behind his loofah. “And you shouldn’t be in the shower with clothes on.”

“Okay, yeah. Of course. Sure. Just gimme a sec.” He began to peel his sopping clothes off.

“Oh, nope!” Bucky turned to walk out of the shower, but Tony grabbed him, clinging and sagging against him.

“Please don’t go, sugar! I can’t be alone right now!”

“Isn’t Pepper still here?” Bucky asked. Had Tony just walked into the wrong shower, high as a kite?

“Oh god, Pepper!” Tony clung tighter. “I’m not ready to be a dad yet, oh god! Please don’t tell Sam. I knew I shouldn’t have had unprotected sex with her, but she said it was okay. She said!”

This was way TMI for Bucky. “Tony, you should probably let me go and go find Pepper.”

“No, I want you!” He grabbed a fistful of Bucky’s hair and pulled. “I need you, Barnes! Rhodey’s right, you’re my mom. And I really need my mom right now, okay?”

He wasn’t even making sense, and it was starting to scare Bucky. “Tony, this ain’t right.”

“No, please, hold me, Mom! It’s not okay!”

Bucky sighed, taking a moment to wrap a towel around his waist before he held his arms out for Tony. “Ohmygod thank you!” When Bucky sat, Tony curled in his lap like a little boy.

“This is weird, Tony.”

“Shut up,  _ you’re _ weird.”

_ Okaaaaay.  _ “How long are you gonna be high for?” Because Bucky had other things to do today besides sit here and hold Tony.

“Hopefully the rest of the night.” He curled up on top of Bucky and started to fall asleep.

  


“Wow. Great.” So much for dinner.

“I know. G’night.” He leaned up to press a kiss to Bucky’s cheek.

Of all the weird-ass… Now Bucky was stuck. He glanced around the room. Where had he left his phone?

“Hey, loser, the kid and me are fixin’ to play some ping pong--” Sam froze when he walked in and saw Bucky half-naked, holding Tony like a lap cat.

“Okay, so I’m interrupting, and I’ll just...catch you later or something--”

“No, wait!” Bucky hissed. “Sam, get over here. Help me.”

“You know, we joke about this a lot, but I’m really--”

“He’s fucked up. I caught him shooting up earlier.”

“He what now?” Sam came over, took Tony’s pulse. Checked under his eyelids. “Son of a--!”

“What do I do?” Bucky asked, panicked.

“He needs to sleep it off,” Sam said, standing up and looking disgusted. “And we need to get him back to those NA meetings ASAP.” He pulled out his phone and texted Rhodes. This officially qualified as NHFP: Not His Fucking Problem. He wasn’t Tony’s therapist OR his friend, and every day he had less and less of a desire to ever be either.

“Good luck with that,” Bucky said. “He hates those meetings.”

“That’s too damn bad. He doesn’t go, and we’re both leaving. And I’ll tell the whole world the Avengers broke up because Tony Stark is a needle junkie.”

“I don’t think he meant to,” Bucky said, suddenly feeling bad for Tony.

“Of course he meant to,” Sam said. “Narcotics addictions, you always mean to. It’s the times you  _ don’t _ that count, not the times you  _ do _ .”

Bucky still felt bad. He stroked Tony’s hair a little. “Will he be safe if we just leave him to sleep it off?”

“Just prop him up on his side. That way he won’t try to aspirate his own vomit if he throws up while he’s out.”

Ew. Well, Bucky supposed it wasn’t really his bed anyway. If Tony wanted to throw up on it, that was his deal. After gently tucking Tony into bed and propping him up with pillows like Sam had said, he left to go play ping pong with Peter.

 

*

 

They were at maybe the 30th round before their ping pong game finally got interrupted. The kid was sure energetic, Bucky thought. You couldn’t say he wasn’t. At times, he seemed to be playing the game with himself alone, sprinting here, there, everywhere. And he was good. He’d beaten both of them more than they’d beaten him. Maybe it was something about being small, the kid was fast as hell. 

“Alright, kid.” Happy had magically reappeared after leaving him to his own devices for hours. “Let’s get you back home before dark. I don’t want your aunt yellin’ at me again. She’s too hot to be that scary.”

Peter sighed. People were always objectifying Aunt May.

“You wanna do his aunt?” Bucky asked. “Gross.”

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Sam piled on. “Anyway, rumor has it there’s another lady in the Stark organization you carry a torch for. How would she feel about all of this aunt ogling?”

It was so easy to get Happy flustered. He was just a big angry bear, waiting to be poked. “You two cut it out with that! As far as I’m concerned, you’re still Team Cap. You shouldn’t even be here.”

“Oooooo.” The two of them chuckled. Too easy.

“And for your information, Tony finally asked Pepper to marry him.”

All laughter stopped.

“I was carryin’ around that ring for 9 years. NINE. And he finally did it.” Happy looked like he might cry, though out of envy or joy, it was hard to tell.

“Wow, that’s. That’s awesome.” Peter felt weird. Shouldn’t Mr. Stark be telling people this news?

“When did this happen?” Sam couldn’t help but connect the dots between the marriage proposal and Tony’s sticking a needle in his arm.

Bucky looked horrified. Had Tony just asked Pepper to marry him because she was knocked up? And how did that make him feel?

“Just a little bit ago. After the kid blew his big chance.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry, kid. You messed up.”

Peter looked so small and scared all of a sudden. “What--what do you mean? It was a test...Mr. Stark said so. I passed...right?”

Happy laughed and shook his head. “He was just being nice, kid. Giving you an out. Of course there was press in that room. Just ask these two bozos.” He nodded toward Sam and Bucky.

“Bozo? Why I oughtta! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!” Sam did his best Moe Howard impression.

Which had Bucky in hysterics. “Do the eye poke!” he encouraged. “Do the eye poke!”

“You poke me in the eye, brother, and I’ll knock you all the way back to the city. Don’t think I won’t. I couldn’t care less who you are.”

“Hey. Learn to take a damn joke, asshole.” Bucky wasn’t about to let this bloated goon threaten Sam.

“Hey. It’s okay.” Sam put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Happy’s got a habit of projecting his issues. I’m not taking it personally.” He gave Happy a hard look. “Today.”

“Projecting my issues.” Happy scoffed. “What a load of horseshit.”

Bucky turned to the kid. “You sure you want him to drive you b--? Whoa, what’s wrong?”

Peter looked like someone had just run over his puppy. “I thought it was a test. I thought I was supposed to stay in school.” He looked like he was about to cry.

Happy rolled his eyes. “I gotta take a leak.” He disappeared in the direction of the bathroom.

“Hey, hey.” Sam slung a brotherly arm around Peter’s shoulders. “You made the right decision for you. No regrets. And it’s not like you can’t choose your own career later on. Right?”

“Really?” Peter looked hopeful. “You think so?”

“Sure. You didn’t think it was a one-time offer, did you?”

“But Mr. Stark said--”

“Come on, kid. He just likes to be dramatic. You should know that by now. Besides. You’re not even 16 yet. I’m pretty sure he’d be breaking child labor laws by making you an Avenger right now anyway.”

“Oh. For real?” Peter didn’t seem to have considered this.

Sam smiled. “For real.”

“If it seems like he’s bullying you, he’s just lonely. It comes out funny.” Sam stared at Bucky. “What? I can have insight, too.”

“Yes you can. Ever thought of going into counseling?”

“Aw, c’mon. How’m I gonna help anyone else, I’m such a wreck?” Well, it was a topic to pursue later. But not now, in front of the kid.

“I’d go to you for counseling.” Peter offered a tentative grin.

“Well, shucks, kid.”

That cracked Peter up. “You tell everyone in Mayberry I said hello.”

“Hah hah, very funny.”

“He’s got you there, old man.” While Bucky grumbled, Sam turned back to Peter.

“Trust me. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“You think so?” Peter looked hopeful but uncertain.

“I know so. Now c’mon. Hug it out.” Sam gave great hugs. Bucky could vouch for that.

“Do I get a metal arm hug, too?” Peter looked way too excited about this.

“Sure, kid.” Bucky felt funny. That was two people in one day who’d intentionally sought out physical contact with him. Maybe it was his new body wash.

The kid felt so small and vulnerable in his arms. It made Bucky worry. “And hey, no more fighting crime alone in your spare time,” he said. “You see something, you call one of us. You got both numbers, right?”

“Yep.” Peter held up his phone, smiling. 

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“I’ll try not to.” He looked sad.

“Hey. You call us any time,” Sam told him. “We’ll answer. Promise.”

“Thanks, guys.” Peter beamed. “Wow. You’re so great.”

Happy lumbered back in. “Come on, kid. Say goodbye to your stupid friends.”

“Whoa.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s NOT fine,” Bucky insisted.

“It’s fine,” Sam repeated. “You’d better get going before he leaves you here.” He pointed at Happy, who was already halfway down the stairs with Peter’s bag.

“Aw, no sweat.” Peter grinned. “See you guys later!” He ran for the railing and jumped, shooting some kind of rope to swing himself down onto the first floor. Bucky ran to the edge, paranoid that something had happened to him. But of course he was fine.

“You know,” Sam said, observing Bucky’s concern for Peter. “If Tony is his stand-in dad, does that make you his mom?”

Bucky whirled and looked at Sam like he was crazy. “What the hell, Sam? I was just worried about the kid--he’s just a kid!”

Sam grinned. “You weren’t that worried about him when you threw a garbage can lid at his face 90 miles an hour in Leipzig.”

Bucky frowned. “I feel really guilty about all that now.”

“Hey.” Sam patted his flesh and blood shoulder. “I’m just giving you shit, man. Calm down.” He glanced over at the ping pong table. “You know what? That’s enough exercise for me for one day. What do you say to a good old game of Mario Kart?”

“Is that the one with the Italian plumber who drives tiny cars and runs over turtles?”

“You’re hopeless, you know that?” They walked away, arm in arm.

 

*

 

Rhodes joined them for video game hour. Sam had insisted. But he didn’t look happy, and he didn’t want to play. 

“Come on, man. He’ll be out for hours. You’ll have plenty of time to get your stuff together and leave before he wakes up.”

Wait, what was happening? Rhodes looked more and more gloomy, and that was saying something. Sam had told him the guy used to be a regular barrel of laughs, and he could roast Tony like no one else. But in the short time Bucky had known him, he’d been quiet, angry, terse. It had to be because of the accident.

Bucky had only spent a short time without the use of all his limbs, so he couldn’t really relate, but he had a better picture of what it would be like to lose your mobility than most. Without his arm, Bucky hadn’t been angry, he’d just wanted to die. But he’d already wanted that. Sam said depression was internalized anger, but Bucky wasn’t sure he agreed. Either way, he felt bad for Rhodes. Really bad. He would still have the use of his legs if it weren’t for Bucky screwing up the Avengers.

While he’d been lost in thought, Sam had been speaking quietly to Rhodes. “I’m not gonna do this again,” he was insisting. “I promised him the last time, when I pulled him out of that crack house in Van Nuys, if he did this again, I was out. I can’t go back on my word, Sam. It’s tough love.” He rubbed his forehead. “And I can’t go through this with him again. I just can’t.”

“No one’s saying you have to,” Sam was telling him. “We get it--or I do. Trust. But are you gonna be good? This place is home. It’s like he’s kicking you out with his addiction, and you gotta take care of you.”

“I don’t--I don’t know.” He looked lost. “I can go back to my sister’s. Probably.”

“Well, whatever you do, don’t go back to the VA for your PT.” They both laughed bitterly at that joke. From what Bucky understood, veteran’s services were pretty shitty these days. Which was so wrong.

“Fuck that,” Rhodey said. “This motherfucker paid for those guys to come work with me, and they’re gonna keep coming. Just not here.”

Sam nodded. “Hey, you know you can always crash with us if you need a place to transition out.”

Rhodes looked surprised. “What, really? Hey, speaking of which, where the hell IS your place?”

“Brooklyn,” Bucky grinned, shyly. “Steve bought the old brownstone my family used to live in, back in the day. Because he’s a sentimental asshole.”

“He’s not wrong,” Sam added. “There’s four floors, and you’re more than welcome to your pick of rooms. We’ll be here at the complex for at least a while. And Steve’s never home.”

Bucky shook his head. Steve had this weird need to drive up and down the eastern seaboard, looking for crime to fight. He slept in the car. Which is why he looked like a hobo these days: he was one.

Seeing Rhodey hesitate, Sam threw out a second option: “Or, I could get you the keys to Steve’s place in DC. He won’t go back there now that SHIELD’s gone, but he’s never gonna sell it. Refuses to get a tennant.”

Rhodes frowned. “I probably should get back to work soon, before they forget I exist.”

“Okay, but first? Mario Kart.”

Rhodes tried to smile. “Okay, but only if **I** get to play Luigi this time!”

 

*

 

As usual, the youngsters trounced Bucky. One day, he was going to have to learn all the tricks to how the game controller moved, but that day wasn’t today. Because he’d lost, it was his job to clean up the living room of their suite. While Bucky stacked plates and dug the popcorn out of the couch, Sam and Rhodes spoke quietly by the door. There was something between them that Bucky couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sure, they were friends. That was the easy part. But it was more than that. Like they had some subtle understanding that went right over Bucky’s head. Like...Sam kissing Rhodes goodbye. On the lips. Bucky’s eyes widened, but he swiftly returned to cleaning as Rhodes left to pack his things. 

“What’re you looking at?” Sam accused.

“Nothin.”

“Don’t judge me, Tin Man. I can kiss who I want.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, but that look on your face says it all.”

Bucky practically ran to the kitchenette, turning on the water to start washing up.

“You think it’s easy being Steve’s boyfriend?”

“I thought you said he was married to Tony.”

“AND I said they got a divorce. Follow along, grandpa. Do I have to draw you a diagram?”

Mostly Bucky just wished Sam would stop talking. He didn’t want to know any of this. “Please don’t.”

“Anyway, I’m preaching to the choir here. You of all people know how Steve is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bucky stopped scrubbing melted cheese off the nacho plate, turning to glare at Sam.

“Oh, come on. Are you gonna act like the violin music doesn’t swell just when you two look at each other?”

Bucky hunched his shoulders and turned back to his scrubbing. “I’m not his boyfriend.”

“Anymore.”

Bucky couldn’t say anything. His pre-Hydra memories were unreliable. And he’d been afraid to ask Steve about it. Even if those bits and pieces of things he remembered were true, Steve had moved on. It was probably for the best that Bucky did, too. “So anyway.” Time for a subject change. “You and Rhodes really had me fooled. The way the two of you used to fight--”

“It’s called friendly debate,” Sam said. “And just because you disagree with someone delusional enough to think this man’s army is a perfect machine doesn’t mean you can’t nail him between the sheets afterwards and both feel good about it.”

_ Ohhh my god _ . Bucky wished it would help to cover his ears.

Sam grinned. “Don’t tell me you’re getting all shy of this subject.”

Bucky started to hum “Take the A Train.”

“You are.” Sam’s grin grew wider. “The Winter Soldier, scared of a little sex talk.”

Bucky hummed louder, started to sing the lyrics. Sam stopped, staring at him. “You really need to get headphones.”

Bucky paused, glancing over at him. “Are you done?”

“Sure.” Sam came to lean against the sink, but Bucky didn’t trust him.

“You wanna go for a run when I’m finished?”

“Sure, sunset run sounds nice. But don’t you leave me in the dust like you do when Steve’s around.”

Bucky chuckled. “I won’t.” He ran more for the movement and companionship than the workout.

“Then maybe when we get back, we can talk about why you haven’t been physically intimate with anybody since Bucharest.”

Bucky grimaced. It was going to be a long run if he had anything to say about it.

 

*

 

“Virginia Potts?” the nurse called her back into the doctor’s office. 

“Nice to see you again, Molly,” Pepper smiled. She liked this OB/GYN. They knew how to be discreet. When she’d come in with the odd...ailment Tony had given her, thanks to his wayward tendencies, they’d taken care of it. Quietly. Confidentially. Even knowing who it was that had given her the clap. Humiliating. Discretion was so important. Especially now.

Pepper had been concealing her pregnancy ever since she’d found out about it. Not because she was superstitious; there were other factors to consider. But Pepper was good at managing things, and she managed this the same way she managed everything else: with precise scheduling, grace, and aplomb.

After speaking briefly with the nurse, she waited for the doctor, sitting impatiently on the exam table. If only they would let her adjust it herself, she could be completely ready by the time the doctor arrived. Things were happening at the new facility that needed managing. She couldn’t step away for too long, or all hell might break loose--it usually did without her.

There was a gentle knock at the door. “Good morning, Miss Potts.”

“Good morning, Doctor Leibowitz.” Pepper loved this doctor. And although his choosing to treat mutant mothers as well as normals had bothered her at one time, now it was perfect. She was glad she’d overcome her caution of such tolerance.

“How are we feeling today?” the doctor asked, sitting down in front of the ultrasound machine.

“We have to pee. Badly,” she told him with chagrin. But it was necessary.

“Well, let’s see if we can’t get this going as soon as possible then.” He smiled, kindly. “Any new symptoms you’d like to discuss?”

“Just a low fever,” she confessed. “Nothing to worry about.”

The doctor paused, rolled over to the computer to take another look at her chart. “Ah, yes. No, that’s to be expected with people of your...abilities.”

Pepper gritted her teeth, but kept smiling. ‘It’s not because of me, you idiot’ she wanted to tell him. But she couldn’t. Wouldn’t. It was the hormones talking, that was all.

“Alright, let’s see that tummy,” he said. Pepper knew the drill from the last time. Blouse up, pants down low at her hips. He was just applying the gel when a text came in on her other phone.

“Is there any way we can wait a few more minutes?” she asked him. 

“Well, certainly,” he said, sitting back. “But I thought you wanted to get this over with so you could use the bathroom.”

“The father’s on his way,” she smiled nervously.

“Ah, of course. I’ll check back with you in a few minutes.” He rose and left the room to check in with other patients while she waited.

Pepper heard him coming when there was a kerfuffle in the waiting room outside. “Listen, just let me in there; she’s expecting me!”

“Sir. Sir,  you’re not allowed to come back here unaccompanied.”

“Pepper!” Apparently he was trying doors, because she heard a woman’s scream. “Whoa, sorry, ma’am.”

“Hey, Pepper!”

“I’m back here!” It was getting harder and harder to sit up. Luckily, she didn’t have to. The door flew open, and there he was. “Jonathan!” she cried, holding a hand out to him.

“Hey, babe.” He strode in and knelt down by the exam table, taking her hand and kissing her cheek. “How’s my little bun doin’, huh?” He reached for the tiny swell of her stomach in a most proprietary way. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t mind if it was him.

“You know I hate when you call it that.”

“It? Him! It’s totally a him, babe. Trust me. I know what I’m shootin’ down there.”

“Jonathan don’t be vulgar.”

“Come oooooon. You’re so uptight.” 

“I thought you liked that about me.” She was starting to regret asking him to come see their baby.

“Course I do, babe,” he grinned, tapping her chin. “Just as much as you like my bad attitude and my big d--”

“Well, this must be the father.” The doctor returned, offering to shake his hand. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Yeah, likewise. Now let’s get cookin’, huh? I wanna see my little firestarter in action.”

“Oh, are you also--?”

“What. Is he serious?” He looked at Pepper. “You’ve never heard of the Human Torch?” He snapped his fingers and a ten inch flame bloomed on the end of his index finger.

The doctor shrugged apologetically. “I’m sorry, Sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to put that out.”

Johnny was indignant. “Pep, where did you find this guy? Under a rock?”

Johnny was going to leave her; it was just a matter of time. But Pepper wanted this baby. It was probably her last chance to have her own. And why she’d gone back to Tony. Tony would be a decent father to her child. Tony could also buy and sell Reed Richards and his entire “fantastic” team several times over. He was the clear choice. And when Johnny was being--well, Johnny--like this, he just proved her point.

 

*

 

That morning, Tony woke up feeling like ass. There were 40 messages on his watch from Pepper, and he wasn’t sure where he was, which probably meant...he’d had a good time? Tony flopped back down in the bed. Whoever’s bed this was, they smelled good. Tony tried to remember the sex, but he couldn’t. In a way, it was a relief just to know he’d had sex with someone who wasn’t Pepper. And there was no way this scent was a woman’s, either. Ahh, the sweet relief of having sex with someone you couldn’t accidentally impregnate. Tony felt his ass. Nope. He was pretty intact. That could only mean… he smiled against the pillow.  _ Oh yeah _ . He’d gotten to top.  _ Nice.  _

Only there was one problem: the more he looked around the room, the more familiar it was. Until he finally realized: he was still at the compound. And there were only so many occupied beds here right now…  _ Oh god. I already regret this. _

“Hey, you’re awake.” It was Bucky.  _ Bucky!! _ It made total sense. How many times had Tony fantasized about sitting on that pretty face as he’d watched him at rest in the BARF machine? So wrong. This was so wrong. Pepper was going to go ballistic. If she hadn’t already. He was afraid to check the messages.

Something hard and cold hit him in the arm. “Ow!”

“Water. Sam says you should drink it.”

“Sam?”  _ He knows? _

“Yeah, and then orange juice for your vitamin C levels. And tell you what--even though you were a jerk last night and took over my bed, I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Aw, sugarlump, aren’t you sweet? But I have things to meet, people to do…”

Bucky tried to smile. “Yeah, I bet. You just take it easy, okay?”

Tony felt coddled. He loved it, but it freaked him out. Reminded him of Steve in the early days. “Why do you remind me of Cap so much? Stop it. Right now; I’m serious.”

Bucky snorted. “Probably because we come from the same place. And time.” He looked sad for a moment. “He’s been awake a lot longer than me, though.” He’d been through a lot.

“I’m not sure that’s technically true,” Tony said, sitting up with a wince. 

Bucky waited for him to explain. “You were awake a lot in the years Cap was in the ice. In fact, I’d bet you’re older than he is now.”

“I was always older than him,” Bucky pointed out.

“But if he’d been awake longer...get it?”

Bucky looked glum. “Not really.”

“Look, kid. You sell yourself short. I know people think you’re just some big dumb lug, but you’re not. Everything you did for Hydra required lots of brains.”

“Then I’d rather not have ‘em.” Bucky looked sullen. Stubborn.

“Yeah, okay, I get that. But still. Apply yourself to something else. I bet you’ll be surprised. Or, you know, not. Because maybe you’re as stupid as you make yourself.”

“Shut up.”

“Listen…” This was going to be awkward. “About last night…”

Bucky stretched, and Tony could see every last muscle in his back and shoulders.  _ Yowza. _ He envied the him he’d been last night, who’d gotten to experience all of that first-hand. And mouth. “I don’t mind,” Bucky told him. “It was kind of nice to have a change.”

“What?”

“I think it got out some of the kinks in my back.” What the hell had they done? Bondage? Sex swing? Oh, he’d be so sad if he’d missed the sex swing…

“Well uh...okay.” Tony was rarely speechless. “The thing is, well me and Pepper--”

“Yeah, Happy told us. Congratulations, I guess.”

Tony grimaced, that blind terror bubbling back up inside him. “No no no!”  _ I’m not ready! _

“What? You’re not happy about it?” Bucky turned to look back at Tony over his shoulder, and it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. His hair was twisted half up on his head and the morning sun had cast a beautiful halo through what remained, setting the auburn strands aflame. And that was just his hair. His body was in an ancient athlete’s pose. Discus, preparing to throw… “Tony, are you okay?”

“Yup. Fine.” Oh god, why was he getting hard? It was morning wood, that was all. Sure. Now that he was back in control of his faculties, he’d never find Barnes attractive.

“Which is why you fell off the wagon.”

“Listen, I don’t wanna talk about that with you. It’s not your business. Forget everything you saw.”

“It kind of is my business, though,” Bucky pointed out, walking over. “I mean, after what happened last night.”

“Oh god.” Tony put his hand on Bucky’s chest. “Don’t say it.”

 

*

 

Bucky looked down at Tony’s hand, wondering what he was doing. He was sober now, right? So there was no reason for him to keep hitting on Bucky. 

“Please,” Tony begged. “This has to stay between the two of us, I mean seriously it can’t leave this room. I’ll bribe you, name your price, money is no object.”

Bucky squinted at him. “You’re offering me hush money about last night?”

“Yes, okay? You said it yourself: Pepper and I are...we’re whatever we are now!” Parents? Oh, here came a panic attack. “So I can’t have her knowing about this.”

Bucky looked sympathetic. “Tony, you need help. Don’t you think if Pepper knew, she’d wanna help?”

“Want to--you have one sick and twisted mind, Barnes. And don’t think I wouldn’t have taken you up on the offer ten or twenty years ago. But I’m a responsible adult now--mostly. I can’t have fun like that anymore.”

Bucky was all confusion. “Tony, what the--”

“I know, I know.” Tony patted him. “Getting turned down is disappointing, poor thing. Just cherish what we had last night. Because it’s all you’re gonna get.” Morning after conversations were so awkward. So why was he enjoying this one so much?

“Tony, I can’t keep a secret that’s already out of the bag.”

“Oh god, she knows?” Tony was terrified. Was this what all the messages were about? Had Pepper left him because she’d walked in on him pounding Barnes’ ass? Oh, but the thought was just so--no! He couldn’t lose Pepper again. She’d said this was his last chance.

“What?” Bucky crinkled his forehead. “No. I meant Sam.”

“Sam was here, too?” Oh what joyous sugarplum threesome fantasies danced in his head right now.

“I mean, just for a little bit. He told me how I needed to position you.”

Tony’s mouth opened and just sort of stayed open. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“I wanted to make sure you’d be safe while we were playing ping pong.”

_ Ping...pong? Oh god. _ What had happened? He needed to see if FRIDAY had any security footage.

“Tony, are you really okay?”

“Yes. Of course. Always. It’s you I’m worried about, babydoll. You know this can’t happen again.”

“Damn right it can’t happen.”

“Wait, what?” He hadn’t been into it? Had Tony underperformed? He had so many questions, and a drug induced haze of nothing to refer back to.

“No more, Tony,” Bucky told him firmly. “There’s no reason for you to be stickin it in like that anymore.”

Tony’s mouth gaped open again.

“I won’t let you.”

“Now look here, Barnes!”

“Nope. No arguments, Tony.”

“Look, if that’s the way you feel, then I--I’m leaving!”

“Whatever. We’ll find you, Tony.”

That took Tony aback. “First you don’t want me, now you’re stalking me? Jekyll and Hyde much, Barnes?”

“I’m not stalkin’ you. We’re just gonna make sure you kick the needle. No more of that shit, Tony. It’s bad for you.  And there’s too much important stuff going on to lose you in the middle of it all.”

“Wait. You were talking about drugs?” But Bucky didn’t even need to answer. “Of course you were. Why would we be talking about sex? Because it never happened. End of story.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed like an illiterate person trying to read an important sign. “Tony, what are you talking about?”

“Exactly. That’s good. Good job, Barnes. I think this might just work out.” He slid out of bed, ignored the pounding in his head and walked around looking for his clothes. “What did you do with my clothes?”  _ You animal. _ Tony was really sad to have missed the sex.

“They were soaked. I gave ‘em to Vision to put in the dryer.”

“Great. Wonderful.” Vision had a strange blind spot where household appliances were concerned. He mostly preferred talking to them over using them. “Nevermind. I got plenty more clothes where those came from.” He slipped his sandals on and started to walk out.

Bucky watched Tony’s cute naked ass walking away. “Tony, stop!”

“Why?” He kept walking.

“You’re naked!” Then again, Stark probably didn’t care about stuff like that. “And you didn’t finish your water,” he added.

“Just send me the bill,” he said, wandering off.

“What about breakfast?” He started to follow Tony, but gave him plenty of room. He really did have a nice butt.

“I never eat breakfast. Gives me indigestion.”

“I saw you eating breakfast just last week!” Bucky protested. Was Tony giving him the brushoff?

“You probably imagined it.” He really didn’t seem to want anything to do with Bucky.

“Hey, Tony.” Bucky rushed forward, grabbing his arm so that Tony would look at him. “I’m serious for a minute. We’re here to help you. Even if you don’t want it.”

“Do us both a favor and get over yourself, would you?” Tony snatched his arm back and kept going. “I neither want nor need your help.”

“Well if you don’t wanna talk to me about it, I hope you’ll talk to Sam.”

“Talk to Sam. Got it. Maybe I can fly out of town before he wakes up.”

“Tony, it’s noon. Sam’s been awake for hours.”

“Damn.”

“Seriously. Don’t make us stage one of those convention things.”

Tony glared back at him. “That’s intervention, you beautiful boob. Now why don’t you go play in traffic? Stop following me around, people will talk.”

“Not my fault you’re naked.”

“Yeah, I bet the camera footage says otherwise.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Tony was finally at his quarters, and he slipped inside, peering back at Bucky through the crack in the door. “Now I meant what I said, handsome. Not a word to another living soul.”

Bucky took a stubborn stance. “Only if you talk to Sam.”

“Fine. Done. Anything else, Mr. Demanding?”

“You were snoring a little last night. Might wanna get that checked out.”

Of all the--!! Tony slammed the door in his face. He wasn’t going to ALLOW Tony to penetrate him anymore? Well Tony had news for Bucky: He had no intentions of ever being in the same room with him again. So there!


	3. Falling Off the Wagon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a close call with Pepper, and finds out Rhodey's gone. With Sam threatening to leave, too, he reluctantly agrees to attend a NA meeting with Bucky as his witness. Alone in the car, far from the compound, secrets are revealed.

“Where have you been?!” the desperate scream from the direction of his bed told Tony he was in for a world of hurt. Pepper was both screaming and crying, which was Tony’s least favorite combination. He realized he’d turned off his ability to be tracked before he’d grabbed the smack yesterday, and she must have thought he was off gallivanting.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.” Tony approached the bed, arms out for hugging. That was the right response...right?

“Why are you naked!?” she accused.

“Well, funny story--”

She was full-on weeping now. “Tony, I can’t do this with you again. I can’t. I’m pregnant and I’m very emotional right now, and I need your support!”

Tony froze. “So...it’s true?”

“Yes, it’s true!” She was getting snot on the duvet. Oh well. He could buy another. “I’m having our baby and you can’t even be bothered to answer my messages!”

“No, no.” Tony rushed over. “I’m here, see?”

She cried on him for the better part of an hour, but finally accepted Tony’s excuse that he’d taken a new sleeping pill last night that had clearly reacted badly with the rest of his meds. Then he gave her a day at the spa to get pampered, because she deserved it, and went to find sane people. After he’d dressed, of course.

But Rhodey’s workshop was empty. Except for the note:

_Tony,_

_I told you this would happen. You did it to yourself. Again._

_Come find me when you’re clean, or I’ll see you at your funeral. Your choice._

_-Rhodes_

_P.S. I love you like a brother, but fuck you, Tony. Fuck you._

Tony felt like he’d been sucker-punched. To lose his Rhodey at a time like this. Was this supposed to make him want to shoot up less? Honestly?

“Hey.”

He wasn’t startled precisely, but he hadn’t expected anyone to come up behind him while he was quietly grieving either. It was Barnes. Of course it was. He couldn’t help but remember what Rhodey had said about him and his mom.

“What do you want?” Okay, so he was feeling prickly. He needed a hit.

“Sorry.” He shifted from foot to foot, clearly anxious but uncertain what to say.

“What for? It’s not your fault--oh, wait.”

Bucky looked stricken. “He woulda found out eventually, Tony.”

“Save it.” Tony pushed past him. Maybe if he locked himself in the workshop for a week or two, he could forget about all of this. Or not.

The sad puppy was following him.

“Scram, Fido. You’re not wanted here.”

“But Sam said--”

“I don’t really give a rat’s ass what Wilson said. And you can quote me on that.”

“Tony, stop!” Bucky’s voice was both pleading and desperate. He stopped, but only out of the merest curiosity about what had gotten him so worked up.

He swallowed, nervous. “There’s a NA meeting tonight--your old group in the Bowery.” His fingers were fidgeting, and it was hard for Tony not to look at them. “Sam says if you don’t go, that’s it. He’ll walk.”

“So now he’s threatening me, huh?” He started to walk again. Tony Stark did not give in to threats.

“Tony, please.” Why was he begging? It was so undignified.

“Alright, fine.” He whirled on Bucky suddenly, causing a near-collision that made Tony think of all the hot supersoldier sex he’d missed out on last night. “But only if you come with me.”

“Huh?”

“Those are my terms. Just you and me. No Happy, no judgemental therapist-types. You, me, and a classic car. That’s it.”

“And the meeting?” Bucky didn’t look certain.

“Yes, the meeting, dumbbell.”

“Okay.” He looked relieved.

But Tony was still annoyed. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes.” Bucky nodded. “It’s a date.” They both winced at exactly the same time. “I’ll go tell Sam.” He hurried off, trying to escape the awkward moment they’d just shared.

Tony smirked. How could he still be so shy after Tony had taken him to the rodeo last night? It was just a shame he couldn’t remember…

 

*

 

It was 11pm, and Bucky had never seen a sadder group of people before. Well, off the battlefield. Sam had warned it wasn’t right for him to go into the meeting, because of the anonymous nature of the thing. Also everyone inside had to feel free to share and know they were talking to others who were enduring the same struggle. But Bucky had refused to leave the area. Maybe he couldn’t be inside in the depressing circle of chairs, but he could wait outside, make sure Tony didn’t leave the community center.

Surprisingly, he stayed for the whole meeting. And when he came out, he was talking to one of the other guys. Hey, that was good, right? Sam had said Tony needed to find other addicts he could confide in. That he felt like all of them at the complex were judging him--and they were. Well, Sam totally was. Rhodey had judged so hard he’d left. Bucky still felt guilty about that. If Pepper found out, she would lose her shit.

Bucky kind of understood. Kind of. But he was too angry at Tony hurting himself. He didn’t want anyone to hurt Tony--even Tony.

Now that he’d gotten better about internalizing what he’d done, accepting the truth of what had happened, taking responsibility without hurting himself for it, Bucky had appointed himself (without telling anyone else) Tony’s unofficial protector. He knew Tony wouldn’t want it if he found out. He knew it sounded ridiculous, that Iron Man might need a protector, but that wasn’t really how Bucky was thinking of his role. Well, it was, but there was more to it.

Bucky figured, after he’d taken Tony’s parents away from him, it was only fair to act as Tony’s guardian angel. But that was harder than it sounded. Especially when he could hardly ever leave the complex for fear of being recognized and/or arrested.

Sam had said it was okay to go with Tony tonight. People wouldn’t be looking for him in the city, and even so, he could just stay in the car. Tony needed a chaperone. And he owed Bucky one-on-one time for what had happened on Monday. And there was the whole weird circumstance of Tony actually demanding Bucky go with him. What did that mean?

They’d driven into the city together in Tony’s classic Mercedes, carefully not speaking. Bucky didn’t even think Tony was capable of that, but apparently with the right car, and the right music turned up loud enough, it was. Who knew?

Now Bucky stood in the shadow of the building, hands tucked into his leather jacket pockets, watching Tony’s pained smile as he spoke quietly with the other NA member--someone he knew, clearly. He did his best not to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help but hear Tony invite the guy over to the complex sometime. Well that was nice. Tony needed more friends. Especially now that Rhodey had cut out.

It was his punishment, he’d said. After getting Tony through one relapse after another in years past, Rhodey had made Tony’s not using a condition of their friendship. Tony had fucked up. Bucky understood, but that didn’t make it okay. He felt bad for Tony.

Happy was more of an employee than a friend, if Bucky was any judge. Pepper was just. Pepper. She was way too high maintenance to be much of a support to Tony, from what Bucky had observed. Maybe this guy would be just what he needed.

“What?” Tony had said his goodbyes, walked over to Bucky, and was looking up at him, annoyed. “Whatever you’re thinking, shut up.” Bucky couldn’t help but notice--because Tony was standing so close--he hadn’t worn his heels or platforms today. He was actually his real height. Which was...kind of adorable. But why was he being so combative?

“Jeez, Tony, I didn’t even say anything.”

“Shut up anyway.” He turned and led the way to the car. “I don’t need a chaperone, you know,” he told Bucky for the fifteenth time.

“Hey, you asked me to come,” Bucky pointed out.

“So if that’s all you’re here for, maybe next time just stay home.” He unlocked the car and slipped into the driver’s seat.

“It’s not like I got anything better to do.” And he’d never admit his protective feelings for Tony. Bucky tried the door handle, but it wouldn’t open. “Hey. Very funny, Tony.”

“See how you like it, Barnes,” he said, lowering the window just an inch. “You don’t want me, I don’t want you either.”

“Tony, what are you talkin’ about?” He’d been acting so butt-hurt all night. Bucky had thought it was because of being forced to go to group, but was there more to it?

“Nothing. Nevermind. I don’t have feelings. I’m fine being used like a piece of tissue and discarded.” The car started to move, and Bucky still wasn’t in it.

“Are you really gonna leave me standin’ here in the street?” Bucky was sensing a theme. “Why did you lock me out there yesterday with all those reporters? No one knew I was there before that. Did you _want_ people to know?”

Now Tony just looked irritated. He leaned over and opened the door. “Just get in, you overgrown crybaby.” Bucky frowned, but he climbed in before Tony could think better of it.

They drove out of the city in silence once more. Tony didn’t even turn the radio on. It seemed to Bucky like he was thinking, and that was okay by him. It was so weird sitting in a small space alone with him and not having Tony talk, though. Super super weird.

They stopped in Kingston for gas. While Tony was filling the tank, Bucky ran to use the toilet. He was half afraid Tony was going to leave him behind, but when he emerged from the crime scene that was the gas station restroom, he found Tony sitting in the car, engine idling, passenger door open, waiting. “Thanks,” Bucky said, hopping in and putting his seatbelt on.

They started to loop back toward the highway, but then Tony seemed to change his mind. Instead of turning right, he turned left, took them down a winding, narrow road, overshadowed by trees on either side. Bucky wondered vaguely if Tony was driving him somewhere secluded to kill him. The thought came as somewhat of a relief. Sam would have been upset to hear it, but at least Bucky could be honest with himself.

“Don’t worry, Barnes,” Tony said, apparently reading his mind. “I’m not driving you out to the woods to off you. This isn’t The Godfather.”

“Thanks.” Bucky actually wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

Tony slammed on the brake and turned to glare at him. “Did you just thank me for not killing you?”

Bucky still wasn’t sure what to say. “Yeah?”

Tony took a deep breath and pulled over to the side of the road, put it in park, turned off the headlights. He gripped the steering wheel, knuckles going white for a moment. “You’re probably wondering why I asked you to come tonight.”

Bucky shrugged. “Not really.” Tony was a smart guy. He knew that Sam wouldn’t have let him go to the meeting alone, just taken his word that Tony had gone. Asking Bucky first just allowed Tony to retain a little bit of his dignity. And saving face seemed important to him.

“Okay, good.” Tony licked his lips, suddenly looking nervous. “So we’re both on the same page here.”

Bucky nodded. He thought they were…

“I gotta admit, I don’t really understand what it is about you. By rights, I should hate you.”

Bucky wasn’t sure where this was going, so he just sat and listened.

“My best guess is that you’re so much like Cap--in some ways. Maybe in some weird way, being attracted to you is just a by-product of loving him.”

Bucky felt sad to hear Tony talk about what had been and gone between him and Steve. And he’d never even known. If Sam hadn’t brought it up…. Wait, Tony was attracted to him?

“Maybe it’s the metal arm.” Tony turned toward him finally, reaching out and stroking the dark metal reverently. “I do have a tech fetish. Yeah, it’s predictable. No, I’m not ashamed of it, so try again.” His eyes widened for a split second, eyeing the advanced Wakandan tech of his arm. It made Bucky feel like a dildo, and he didn’t like it.

Fortunately, Tony turned away again. “Rhodey thinks it’s...well, we’re not gonna talk about that. Plain and simple. Rhodey’s out of the picture anyway. He doesn’t get an opinion anymore.”

“He’ll be back, though,” Bucky said. “You’ll keep going to meetings and he’ll be back. Right?”

Tony looked at him again, and his eyes were pained. Hungry. “If you knew how badly I want a bump right now...what I would do for one.” The look in his eyes scared Bucky. “Help me, Barnes.” His hand fisted in Bucky’s shirt, dragging him close. “God, help me. Make me think of something else. I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I can’t.”

Bucky did the only thing he could think of, given the circumstances and setting, and the way Tony was holding onto him. He relaxed, letting his head fall forward, and kissed Tony. On the lips. It shocked him as he was doing it, but then he realized: he wanted to. Bucky kissed him slow and easy until Tony’s lips parted, and then...then Bucky’s arms were around him, and they were tongue-wrestling and breathing hard. One of Tony’s hands found his groin, which his groin seemed to find very exciting, and then Bucky was kissing his way down Tony’s neck, and--

“Wait!” Tony cried out suddenly, and Bucky froze. “Wait, wait, wait.” He took a deep breath, and Bucky sat back, apprehensive. “This can’t happen. I’m sorry.”

Bucky felt shame. Of course this couldn’t happen. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking. He’d let Tony’s anxiety and need get the better of him. When he should have been the one in control. But his instinct was to take care of Tony, and Tony had said--

*

“Look,” Tony said, feeling humiliated. “About what happened last night--”

“You don’t gotta apologize, Tony,” Bucky cut in.

“Let me finish!” He shut his eyes, praying to get the irresistible scent of Barnes’ pheromones out of his nostrils.

“Sorry.”

“I know it can’t happen again. And, for the record, it’s not what I wanted--”

“Good.” Why did Barnes keep interrupting?

“--but if I did it when I was...in that state, that means that...well I’ve been thinking about it, I guess.”

“Wait, what?”

“I find you...stupidly attractive. And god help me, I can’t figure out why. So just know that. Well, it didn’t come out of nowhere, but I understand it can’t happen again and...I’ll...I may be keeping my distance from you for a while. But it’s not personal.”

“It’s not?”

“Well, it is. But it’s for our own good. Both of us.”

“What? Why?”

“Because...I can’t let Pepper down again. Once, maybe I can get away with hiding from her, but twice? Twice is definitely cheating, and--”

“Cheating? Tony what the hell are you talkin’ about?”

“We had sex, okay?! Do you need me to spell it out? Jesus! Make this as painful as possible, why don’t you?”

Bucky was quiet for several moments. Should he tell Tony? In a sense, what they had done just now was cheating, too. So maybe it didn’t matter. Both things: the imagined one and the real one, couldn’t happen. And Tony was going to have to take steps to make sure. And that was fine. Bucky wanted to support him, whatever decision he made. But he sure wished he could have had the sex to know what he would be missing now.

“I won’t tell Pepper,” he said softly.

“Damn right you won’t.” Tony put the car in gear, and they were off again. Tony turned the music on, and that was the end of conversation between them. Probably for a while. Maybe Bucky should just go back to stay with Steve. Sam didn’t need him at the complex. Maybe he could look after Rhodes--if Rhodes had actually ended up in Brooklyn.

 

~

 

Back at the complex, all was quiet. Tony parked in the garage, locked up. Bucky followed him inside without a word, watched Tony unbutton his shirt and grab a bottle of hard liquor before heading toward his room.

“Is that really a good idea--”

“Mind your own business.”

Bucky sighed. He went upstairs to see if Sam was still awake. He was nowhere to be found. Bucky realized he hadn’t turned his cell phone back on after the meeting. So he did.

There it was, a message from Sam saying he’d left to help Rhodes settle in at Steve’s place in D.C. He’d be back in a couple of days. That was nice. Bucky hoped that meant they were having cupcake-time, or whatever it was the kids were calling it these days. Both of them deserved to be happy.

But that did leave Bucky sort of at loose ends for tonight. The game room was out unless he wanted to play a depressing round of ‘let’s not talk about anything important’ with Vision. Which he did not. Maybe he’d play a video game? No. Bucky didn’t have the attention span for that.

So instead, he just went to bed. Not to sleep. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep anytime soon; his mind kept flashing back to that quiet road, the car parked in the shade of a tree, and Tony’s mouth on his.

Welp. At least he could lie here and let his mind wander and enjoy the breeze through the open window.

 

~

 

The problem with being a super soldier was that you never really got any peace and quiet. Bucky could hear everything. And over the months he’d been awake, he’d normalized the little noises. Learned to tune out the night song of insects. The ghostly whistling of HVAC systems. The squeal of a failing timing belt on a car being driven two miles away. But footsteps he couldn’t ignore. Footsteps meant something was going on.

He listened to the footsteps all the way over in the opposite wing. But he didn’t have to wait for long. The footsteps were getting closer. The door to their suite opened. Bucky lay still. Only people with a key card could get in. Maybe Sam had forgotten something? The footsteps walked through the maze of rooms, and finally came to his door. And kept coming. He felt the mattress dip, and suddenly there was a body sliding up against him.  

“Um…” Bucky knew it was Tony from the size of the body, the weight displacement on the bed, and the goatee tickling his flesh shoulder. But Tony had said this couldn’t happen, so...what did that mean?

“For the record,” Tony said. “This isn’t happening.” He slid his arm over Bucky’s waist and curled up against him, little-spooning his bigger spoon.

Bucky’s heart was beating faster. “What--” He licked his lips, mouth suddenly dry. “What’s not happening?”

“I can’t sleep, okay?” Tony snapped. “I want to get high and I can’t turn off my brain, and I can’t sleep.” He paused. “And Steve used to hold me until I fell asleep, and you’re about his size, okay? So just shut up and let my try to sleep.”

Bucky was quiet, thinking about this. He had feelings about Steve holding Tony while he slept. Some were pleasant, some weren’t. But Steve and Tony had broken up, Sam had said, which meant Tony might be having an awful lot of trouble sleeping these days. “I can hold you...if you want,” Bucky said softly.

*

Hell yes, he wanted that! “Well, go on, then!” Tony demanded. “Turn around, unless you’re some kind of contortionist or something.” _Oh god, thoughts, don’t stray like that._ Tony shut his eyes and breathed through his nose until visions of Bucky with his ankles behind his ears faded away.

Bucky laughed softly, but he did roll over. Finally. Tony climbed into the triangle formed between his shoulder, elbow and chest, snuggling in until he was comfortable. “Oh, that’s better,” he sighed. Slowly. So very slowly, Tony’s body began to relax. The fact Barnes put off heat like a personal furnace didn’t hurt. Steve had been the same way. Something about their increased metabolism, probably.

As Tony started to finally feel drowsy, Bucky asked, “Can I pet you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry. Sorry, Tony.”

“No, Sugar, that’s not--” Why was he so apologetic for everything? _Maybe because he killed your parents, Sherlock._ “I’m just asking you to clarify, maybe just a smidge? Help Tony understand what you mean.”

Bucky wasn’t sure how to explain it, so he just did it, sliding fingers into Tony’s hair and stroking his palm down, almost like petting a cat. “Ohhh goood…” Tony sighed, eyes closing. “Yes, all of that. Do that. Please? I like that.”

While Bucky struggled to keep his good man down--that had been a really sexy noise--Tony snuggled back in against him and relaxed again. Well, at least he’d said Bucky could pet him. And so he did, stroking his hair and massaging his scalp until Tony was fast asleep. Bucky would have liked to keep going, but he didn’t want to risk waking him up again.


	4. Deadpool Ex Machina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Pepper catches Tony in bed with Bucky, things are looking grim. Deadpool saves the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the second work of art [Araydre](http://archiveofourown.org/users/araydre/pseuds/araydre) created for my bang. Please check it out, and give her lots of love for all her hard work!

Virginia Potts hated few people in the world more than she hated Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, aka the man who’d nearly taken Tony away from her. 

How dare he? How dare he think he could come swooping into Tony’s life after years of her cultivating this relationship, slowly working Tony around her little finger?

Fortunately, Steve Rogers had imploded like a black hole. Not only did he no longer exist in the public, he’d also taken most of the Avengers along with him--and good riddance. Most importantly, he no longer existed to Tony. Or more correctly, he existed only in that deep, hurt place Tony hid from the world. The one that made him cling to her in bed at night, and cry in his sleep, and lash out with vicious humor at anyone getting a little too close to hurtful subjects.

So that was handled, and Pepper had come back to claim what was hers in Steve’s absence. Tony had been desperate. He’d given her everything she wanted, and more.

Everything had gone swimmingly. Only now...now there was a problem.

This inexplicable pseudo-parent thing with Peter Parker had gotten Tony back into the superhero game. Under the radar, but it was still illegal. It went against their agreement. And Pepper had made him promise this time.

But he’d insisted on putting some semblance of the Avengers back together “just in case.” And somehow, that had involved making amends with the man who was responsible for destroying his life. Pepper would never understand it. And then that Sam Wilson had convinced him he needed to spend more time with that monster for therapy reasons. Maybe the monster needed it, but Tony did not.

What he needed was her. Pepper was all Tony needed--all he’d ever needed. And just when he’d finally realized that, his pet projects were taking him away from her again.

Once more, she found herself hating Captain America. All three of them: the black hole, the patriot, and the monster.

She was done humoring him. It was time to get this relationship and this company back on track. And that did not include partnerships with anyone but herself.

Pepper wasn’t ready to start living together just yet. She enjoyed her independence. Also, not being attacked by unmanned suits in the middle of the night. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t be the first thing Tony saw when he woke in the morning--assuming that he’d slept at all, which was always anyone’s guess.

She checked the workroom first, then the garage, then his bed, coming up empty all three times. This was ridiculous. “FRIDAY, where is Mr. Stark?” She didn’t like the AI. Tony had based it on her--as if she sounded like that.

“Mr. Stark is in bed with James Buchanan Barnes,” FRIDAY answered, smugly. “Shall I wake him?”

Pepper’s scream of rage could be heard from all the way across the complex. Then she got back into her convertible and drove away for the last time. She didn’t need this. No amount of money was worth this nonsense again. If Johnny didn’t work out, she would just...become a lesbian.

 

*

 

Tony was sitting bolt-upright in bed. Not just because he’d been awakened by a scream, but because Barnes could leap out of bed and arm himself in less than a second, and that was problematic when you were the only person in the room with him. “Easy there, big fella,” Tony was telling him, hoping to god he was addressing James Barnes and not his alter-ego. “We’re not under attack.” 

Slowly--too slowly--Barnes relaxed. “What was that, Tony?”

Tony sighed, checking his watch. “Pepper.”

His guard started to come back up. “Is she in trouble?”

Tony put his face in his hands. “No. I am.”

“What? Why?”

Just then, Vision melted through the wall. “Sir, I went to check on Miss Potts, but she seems to have driven away. I can only assume she was fit enough to do so.”

“Yeah, it’s--no, it’s not that, Junior. It’s--something else. Dad fucked up again.”

Vision walked awkwardly to where Tony sat on the bed. He didn’t seem surprised or disturbed to find Tony without clothes on. “Sir, may I offer a conciliatory embrace?”

Bucky thought that was the saddest thing he’d ever heard. “Yeah.” Tony sighed, opening his arms. “C’mere, you.” Vision stepped carefully to the edge, reaching for Tony in the middle of the bed and somehow managing to hug him without touching the mattress in any way. Then he straightened up again. “Shall I start breakfast?”

“Sure, knock yourself out. I dunno if anybody will eat it, but it’s good practice, right?”

“I do enjoy cooking, Sir.”

Tony’s eyes softened. “That’s great, kid. Follow your passion.”

After Vision left, Bucky slowly moved back toward the bed, offering Tony the topsheet he’d snatched in his fight-ready state. “I dunno how there can be so much of Jarvis left in him,” Tony said, watching the door, looking sentimental.

“Who’s Jarvis?” Bucky asked.

“My butler.” Tony took a deep breath, tried again. “The man who raised me like his own son.”

“Oh. Oh shit.” But he was clearly having trouble connecting the dots between Vision and a human man he’d never met.

“It’s a long story,” Tony said. “I’ll tell you about it some time.”

“Okay.” Bucky nodded.

 

*

 

They did eat a little bit of Vision’s breakfast. His scrambled eggs weren’t too rubbery, though he couldn’t seem to get the right setting on the toaster, and kept trying to reason with it. Bucky popped some bacon into the microwave, and voila! Mostly edible breakfast. 

Tony just chewed his fork, trying to figure out the best way to explain things to Pepper. He knew exactly who’d told on them. FRIDAY hated Barnes. Had hated him ever since Tony could remember. And that was odd, Tony thought, all things considered.

While he was thinking and Bucky was eating and Vision was quoting Kierkegaard to the toaster in a vain attempt to get it to stop burning the toast, the doorbell rang.

“This place has a doorbell?” Bucky asked.

“Jeez, Barnes. We are civilized around here.” Curious, he pulled up the porch cam on his watch. “Oh god.”

“What?”

“It’s him again.”

Deadpool was standing on the doormat wearing a classic bellhop’s uniform over his trademark costume. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and balloons. “Telegram for Pepper Potts,” he said cheerfully, thrusting his face into the camera until it became obscenely distorted.

“Go away.” Tony’s voice could be heard on the front porch as well as in the kitchen. “We gave at the office.”

“I promise you’ll wanna hear it!” Deadpool insisted. “It’s a big reveal! You’ll regret sending me away!”

“You want me to go get rid of ‘im?” Bucky asked.

“No,” Tony sighed. “I can handle it. But keep me company?”

“Sure.”

They took their time, finally making it to the front door without pomp or circumstance, Bucky in sweatpants and a wife beater--no shoes or socks--Tony in his spa-style bathrobe.

Wilson’s smile widened as they opened the door. “Ohhh. Aren’t you two adorable!” He stepped forward and grabbed Bucky’s hand, pumping it enthusiastically. “It is such an honor. Big fan. I just loved you in  _ Gossip Girl _ .”

“Huh?”

“And Mom. I worried about you when Dad left, but may I say? I think you’ve found a real keeper this time.”

“What do I have to do to get you to leave?” Tony asked, unamused.

“Hold these!” Wilson chirped, thrusting the flowers into his arms and pulling out a telegram and a harmonica. He blew on it to find his pitch. “Aaaaaaaaaaaa...mimimimi….” Then he coughed and began to sing to the tune of “Camptown Ladies.”

“These are from your baby-dad, doo-dah, doo-dah

He just thinks you’re really rad all the doo-dah-day 

Thanks for asking me 

to your OBG (yesterday)

And thanks for the sonogram, tweeted those last night!” 

Tony listened in stunned, open-mouthed silence, not sure what to think. Bucky just looked confused.

“Signed ‘Your love machine, Jonathan P. Storm.'” Deadpool turned toward the audience, whispering. “Psst. The P stands for Penis.”

Tony had already summoned one of the gauntlets. “That’s it. You’ve gone too far this time, Wilson!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Deadpool backed away. “Don’t shoot the messenger, buddy!” But Tony did, knocking him through several of his specially-trimmed hedges with the force of the blast.

“Calm down, Tony,” Bucky said, gripping his shoulder. “He may be weird, but that’s no reason to go down for assault.”

But Tony wasn’t listening. He had to find out now. Was it true, or just another one of Wilson’s stupid, tasteless jokes? He stalked back inside the house, quickly hacking the medical records at Pepper’s doctor’s office.

“Oh my god.” Tony plopped down on the couch in shock.

“What? What is it?” Bucky came to kneel at his feet, reaching up to grip his arm. He was so eager to serve. It was weird, but also a turn-on.

“Pepper’s four months pregnant. It can’t be mine.”

“Oh.” Bucky was clearly at a loss for how to respond.

“I can’t believe it. Wilson was right.”

“You’re welcome!” Deadpool sang, flying past one of the second story windows as though he were bouncing on a trampoline.

“Tony…” Bucky’s brow creased in that way a great dane’s will when he’s trying to figure out how to make you feel better.

“You know what? It doesn’t matter. Come here, honeybear. Come sit by me.” He patted the couch next to him, much as you would with a dog. And Bucky obeyed. But he was watching Tony carefully, like he was expecting him to lose his shit at any moment. “Yeah. Life’s rough sometimes.” But Tony was actually feeling relief. He wasn’t going to be a father. He didn’t have to ask Pepper to marry him--not right now, not ever. Sure, Happy would be beside himself, but…

“Should you call your therapist?” Bucky suggested.

“No,” Tony said. “I have a better idea. Have you talked to Rogers yet this morning?”

“No. He usually texts around--”

“Go ahead, call him,” Tony said, butting in. “I’ll wait. But make sure it’s a video call.”

“Okay.” Bucky wasn’t sure why Tony was so eager to have him call Steve, but maybe he wanted to talk to him, too. Maybe it would be part of them patching things up. He’d just finished dialing when he had a horrible thought: what if Tony wanted to ask Steve to get back together now that Pepper was out of the picture? He hesitated pressing the send button, suddenly full of anxiety.

“You...you wanna talk to Steve alone?” he asked, nervous.

“Please.” Tony snorted. “He hasn’t earned one-on-one time with me yet.” Bucky wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or guilty because he felt relieved. “Just pretend I’m not here. Go on, honeybear.”

Bucky worried his lip and pressed send. Waited for Steve to pick up. He knew Steve wouldn’t just hit accept. He would stop whatever he was doing and pose, first. It wasn’t vanity, Sam had just made fun of him one too many times for picking up a video call with the camera facing the bedspread or his Y-fronts around his ankles on the toilet.

“Hey, Buck.” There he was. Steve smiled, clearly happy to see him.

“Hey, Stevie, I--mmmmmf!” Tony kiss-tackled him so hard, he nearly dropped the phone. In fact, he would have, if Tony’s hand hadn’t shot out to steady it.

“Ohhh, baby. You’re so pretty. Let me kiss you,” Tony moaned.

“Tony.” Steve spit out his name, like he’d taken a bite of something rotten.

Tony turned slowly, sly, to face the camera. “Oh, is that you, Cap?” He smirked, twining his arms around Bucky’s neck. “Just enjoying a little morning cuddle with your Buckybear. Thanks for loaning him to me, by the way.”

Steve was too upset to form coherent sentences. “I just--you gotta be--something--Go away, Tony. I’m talkin’ to Bucky.”

For his own part, Bucky was a little stunned, left blinking on the couch after Tony’s onslaught. He knew he’d been used, but he couldn’t deny that they’d kissed before. If it was something that upset Steve, maybe it was just better to come clean sooner than later. He sat forward, staring into the camera. “Stevie, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, Buck.” Steve was dismissive. “I know how Tony can be.”

“Excuse you!” Tony protested, offended.

“No, Steve. I shoulda told you.” Bucky’s gaze fell with shame. “Me...me and Tony…”

Steve’s brow drew down, his mouth set in a firm line.

“We’re in love!” Tony butted in.

“Tony, that’s not--” Bucky began.

“No take-backs, Steven.” And then he shut off the phone abruptly.

Bucky sighed. “I wish you’d stop messin’ with him like that, Tony.”

“Why?” Tony huffed. “He ruined my whole life because he was afraid to be honest with me. That gives me the right to poke him with a stick now and then, wouldn’t you say?” 

Bucky turned to him with a half-frown. “So you just kissed me to get back at Steve?”

Tony looked stricken. “Nooo, sugarbear.” He stroked Bucky’s stubbled cheek. “No, no, no. That’s not why. Ohhh, honeylove.” He climbed into Bucky’s lap to snuggle him. Bucky wasn’t really sure what to do at this point. He patted him, feeling awkward.

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered. “That was lousy of me. I’m just feeling...so…” He was at a loss for words. Which was rare for Tony. Bucky slowly slid his arms around his waist.

“You had a rough day.”

Tony let out a noise between a laugh and a sob, checking his watch. “And it’s not even ten.”

Bucky stroked his back, soothing. “So...which meeting you wanna go to today?” After what had happened, no way was Tony going a full day without an NA meeting. Tony sagged in his arms, defeated.

“Come along again?”

Bucky nodded.

“You’re the best, sugarbear,” he whispered into Bucky’s ear, his lips slightly brushing his earlobe as he did so. It gave Bucky chills, but not in a bad way.

He coughed, gently pushing Tony out of his lap and back onto the couch next to him. No reason for Tony to know he was getting aroused. It would only complicate things, and Bucky still wasn’t sure he was up to a physical relationship with anyone at this point. He looked down at his phone, which had several text messages from Steve in differing states of panic/annoyance/anger at Tony for the prank he’d just pulled. Bucky sighed and tapped out a reply while Tony went to grab breakfast in the kitchen.

“Thanks, kid,” he told Vision. “You did a great job.” After Vision had floated off, feeling a sense of personal accomplishment, Tony carefully tipped all of the burnt toast into the trash.

Bucky glanced back. “Anything edible in there?”

“Noooot. Really.” Tony started to clean up. Bucky thought it was pretty great he encouraged Vision the way he did, even though the guy was still so new to everything, he messed up more than he got right.

“Lemme help.” He pushed up from the couch and wandered over to subtly throw food into the trash and get dishes started.

“You know, we have a dishwasher,” Tony pointed out.

“But you gotta wash ‘em before you put em in there anyway, so I figure I’ll just wash ‘em,” Bucky said.

“You’re a stubborn old man,” Tony began, “just like--” And he stopped himself.

Bucky glanced back to make sure he was okay, and found Tony just sort of staring into a dirty frying pan. He moved to gently take it from his grip. “Would you really get back together with Steve? If...if he did all the right things?”

“No.” Tony’s answer was instantaneous. “I can’t trust him anymore.” He shook his head, scratching one eyebrow. “It’s...it’s a lost cause.”

Bucky frowned. “I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony shrugged it off, as was his wont. “Shit happens, cupcake.” He turned to Bucky. “Now, you gonna wash these dishes, or are you gonna let me load the dishwasher?”

Bucky was struck with a sudden idea. “You wanna go out for breakfast?”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “It’s more like brunch at this point.”

Bucky smiled patiently. “Wanna go out for brunch?”

Tony thought about it for a moment. “Sure. I still owe you for Monday.”

 

*

 

They drove with the top down to the little diner off route 90. It wasn’t good food exactly, but people tended to leave them alone. They chose an outdoor table for the privacy, and Bucky experienced one of those odd moments looking at the menu--where he couldn’t decide if he was hungry or not, but he knew he had to eat. 

“I’ll order for you, sugarbear,” Tony told him, seeming to sense it. “You just relax and take in the fresh air.”

There were so many trees out here. It made Bucky a little sad that they’d had to clear most of the trees around the complex for security reasons. Not that it mattered, really. He didn’t live there.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have gone with the top down,” Tony said, rising from his seat to walk around behind Bucky. He glanced back, curious, but then felt Tony’s strong fingers pulling his hair back into a loose manbun.

  


They felt good against his scalp, and Bucky shut his eyes.

“I don’t really care,” he said, feeling drowsy under Tony’s ministrations.

“I know you don’t sugarlump, that’s why I’m fixing it for you.” He leaned down to kiss Bucky on the cheek, and his eyes snapped open.

Wait, what was this? What were they doing? Were they...this wasn’t how just friends acted...was it? “Tony…” His eyes were soft and anxious when they found him taking his seat on the other side of the table.

“Hmm?” Tony was playing with his napkin, arranging it just so in his lap.

“Can we date?” Bucky bit his lip, disbelieving that he’d actually said it, but having heard it sure enough.

Tony glanced up at him through his eyelashes. “I guess we could, if you really wanted to give it a try.” He was acting nonchalant but Bucky got a different vibe from him underneath his cool exterior.

“I know it--it’s probably a rotten idea what with all the stuff you’re dealing with. You...you need time to sort through--”

“You know, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I move faster than normal people when it comes to just about everything,” Tony drawled, humble. “So maybe don’t take the offer off the table before I even have a chance to think it through, hm?”

Bucky felt bad. Maybe he was overthinking. He wished Sam was here. Sam would have known the right thing to say.

“The answer is yes, by the way.” Tony leaned toward him, reaching for Bucky’s hand. “Don’t you dare think you can take it back now.”

Bucky smiled, relieved, and took Tony’s hand, enveloping his fingers with his palm. “Is it...stupid? I know it feels kinda...wrong. But I really want to.”

Tony sat back, miffed. “Why is it stupid to want to date me? For your information, I’m a total catch. You’re never gonna find another one like me, Barnes, so don’t mess this up.”

“I--” Bucky stammered. “I think--” Then Tony smirked, and he saw he was just being teased. He took a breath. “Dammit, Tony.”

“Gotcha.” He winked, taking a sip of orange juice.

“But seriously--”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yes, what is it, Debbie Downer?”

“You gotta keep up with your NA meetings, and me and you both should probably sit down with Sam or Dr. Feinstein--”

“Yes, yes, okay, fine. We’ll do the whole therapy thing, and it’ll be tiresome and torturous but somehow worth it in the end.” Tony clearly didn’t want to talk about that anymore.

Bucky took a deep breath and sighed. He wouldn’t let Tony’s impatience get to him. He was even to the point now where it was a little cute.

“Now, sugar.” Tony leaned forward across the table, squeezing Bucky’s hand. “Let’s get down to brass tacks.”

Something about the purr in his voice made Bucky’s face feel hot. “What--Whaddaya mean?”

“If we’re dating…” Tony glanced demurely away, his finger tracing a singing tone around the rim of his water glass. “Well, are we gonna start...you know…”

Bucky was suddenly filled to the brim with anxiety. Did Tony want to have sex? Did he NOT want to have sex? Why was he asking this? Bucky’s breath started to come faster. “I--I--I--don’t know if I can--”

Then Tony stood, reaching across the table to put a finger to his lips. “Calm down, Seabiscuit. I’m just asking. You don’t have to stampede for the hills just yet.”

“It’s not that.” Bucky had to remind himself to breathe. “I--I really like you, Tony.” After the kiss last night, he hadn’t been able to deny it any longer. “I just--I’m not sure if I’m ready--”

“Shhhhhh…” Tony touched his lips again. “All in good time, sweetheart. All in good time.” Then he sat back down, placed his napkin back in his lap and started on his eggs. At first, Bucky thought that was the end of the discussion. He let his guard down. Started to eat his waffles.

“Will you make out with me, though?” Tony asked, looking up at Bucky, sudden and desperate. “Just make out with me--I’m talking kissing, maybe a little petting; nothing heavy. You can do that, can’t you, sugarlump?”

Bucky nodded slowly, his mouth too full to answer. He wanted to kiss Tony. Petting...he wasn’t sure what that meant, but. It was probably okay.

“And if you ever don’t like it--if you need to stop, you just say so, huh? Just give the word and we’ll stop.”

Bucky just kept nodding, not sure what to say. It all sounded okay by him. “Okay, well that’s settled.” Sometimes it seemed like Tony was carrying on a conversation with himself. He stabbed around his plate a little with the fork, but now that they’d talked, Tony didn’t seem hungry.

“What’s wrong?” Had Bucky said the wrong thing?

“Let’s get it to go.” There was an urgency in Tony’s eyes Bucky couldn’t quite understand. But he went along.

“Sure, Tony. Whatever you want.” His food was mostly gone anyway.

They paid the bill and walked back to the car an awkward distance from one another. But just when Bucky was really starting to worry, Tony shut the driver’s side door and threw himself at him. “This is what I wanted, sugar,” he told him between kisses. “All I wanted, for so long…”

For so long? Bucky was confused by that. They’d only been doing therapy together for three months. Barely. “But why, though?” Bucky interrupted to ask.

Tony sighed, sagging back against the driver’s seat. “Oh, this again.” He climbed into Bucky’s lap, putting arms around him. “Listen up, stubborn puss. You’re gonna let me love you. That’s an order.”

“But I don’t--”

“Shut it.” Tony covered his mouth with his fingers. Then replaced them with his lips.

Bucky tried to let it go, giving in to the enjoyment of kissing Tony. When he started grinding down in Bucky’s lap, he quickly put him back in the driver’s seat. “Too much, Tony.” His cheeks were on fire. And so were his pants. But he just wasn’t ready.

“Okay,  _ mea culpa _ , sugar. Getting excited is no excuse.” He patted Bucky’s shoulder apologetically and started the car. 


	5. Addicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh come on, Eeyore,” he teased, lying down next to him on the pillow. “Tigger’s your best friend. Why don’t you just come on and tell me?”
> 
> The ghost of a smile curled Buck’s lips. He reached up to trace Tony’s cheek. “The wonderful thing about Tonies is Tonies are wonderful things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to everyone who read this far. ❤

It wasn’t the first time Bucky had followed Tony into the master bath after one of their makeout sessions. But it was the first time he stayed. Tony let him hang back. Faced the mirror. Pushed his pants down. He watched Bucky’s eyes rest on the swollen girth of his cock, take in the dome of the head, the moisture glistening at the tip. Then he started to stroke himself, putting on a show for as long as Bucky would watch. He gripped the base of his cock and slowly, painfully slowly started to pull his fist up the length. Bucky’s eyes in the mirror were hyper-focused. He was almost salivating, and that was a good thing in Tony’s estimation.

For three months now, they’d been dating, which mostly seemed to consist of dinners and movies, and Bucky coming to visit for long weekends at the complex where he’d sleep in Tony’s bed and hold him so that he slept longer than usual (read: at all).

But even though he’d promised to take it slow, go whatever speed Bucky wanted, that speed so far seemed to be ‘thus far and no farther’ and Tony wanted more. Needed more. The torture of being pressed against that hard body without being able to grope and grind and stroke and suck and ride…

Maybe this was progress, Tony thought, jerking himself off leisurely, watching Bucky in the mirror watching him. Maybe this time Bucky would stay, at least watch to the end, maybe even touch him back. In his wildest fantasies, Bucky let Tony touch him, too. Lick him. Make him come. But the actuality seemed so far away.

In the mirror, Bucky had that expression on his face. The frightened, uncertain one he usually wore right before he walked out. Tony stopped watching him, hoping against hope. Suddenly a large warm body was moving up behind him, and Bucky rested his cheek on Tony’s shoulder. His dick jumped in his hand. “You okay, sugar?” Tony asked, breathless with excitement.

“Yeah,” Bucky said softly. He wrapped arms around Tony’s chest and held him while he jerked off, finishing so much sooner with Bucky’s body pressed against him from behind.  

“Oh, angel, that was...that was…” Tony turned and kissed him, sliding his arms around Bucky without bothering to pull his pants back up. Bucky’s hand drifted down to his hip, then gingerly, carefully slid down to smooth hesitant fingers across his bare ass. Tony moaned, wanton.

Unfortunately, that scared the fingers away. “Sorry, Tony.” He was always apologizing.

“Don’t be sorry, sugar,” Tony smiled. “You stayed for the money shot this time.” He kissed his cheek. “I’m proud of you.”

“That...that was pretty hot.” Bucky seemed to be tripping over his tongue, and Tony hoped it was awkwardness due to arousal.

“Mmmhmmm?” Tony nuzzled him, rocking from foot to foot. This was nice, just standing here together, holding each other, semi-undressed.

“You gonna take a shower?” Bucky’s voice was growly. It made Tony bite his lip. Think bad thoughts.

“I thought I might.” He tugged gently at Bucky’s earlobe. “Care to join?”

Bucky sighed into his hair, resting his face against it. He was tempted. Tony knew he was. “Can I keep my shorts on?”

“Sure you can, honeybunch.” Tony playfully flicked his nose. “But they’re gonna get ruined.”

“I don’t mind.”

~

The shower worked out better than Tony had thought. Bucky was very interested in touching and holding Tony once they were wet. It made him think the jacuzzi might be a good idea sometime. In the shower, Bucky let Tony touch him places he hadn’t yet. Let him lick Bucky’s chest and drag nails down his back. And he was hard. Painfully hard. Those shorts were barely holding on for dear life.

Finally, with a gasp, Bucky excused himself and ran to his room. Tony only wished he’d let him watch the way he’d watched Tony. Still, it was progress.

After months of NA meetings and time spent doing drills with Sam--having Sam around, period--visiting Peter on weekends to see how his studies were progressing and going on dates with Bucky, Tony felt...a little better. He was still a broken shell of a human being, but there were moments of light in the darkness. When he’d reached his first month of sobriety, Rhodey called. It was nice to have his best friend talking to him again. Between Rhodey’s long ranting phone calls and the numerous texts and snapchats he got from Bucky in a day--and the middle of the night; neither of them seemed to sleep much apart--Tony honestly had to admit there were moments in his life that were...nice.

Pepper and her beau seemed to be getting along so far. Her pregnancy was proceeding well, and she kept her drama far away from Tony now. It was looking like he might have to hire her replacement (at least a temporary one) but he could handle that. It was much preferable to becoming an unplanned parent in a relationship that was only semi-functional.

In comparison, it was nice that he and Bucky were taking their time. They hadn’t come together in a moment of passion after a near death experience like he’d done with Steve. He didn’t feel lured into the husband box after having been hunted for years, as he now felt had been the case with Pepper. He just felt...like a semi-normal person, trying out a relationship with someone at least as damaged as he was.

And if the spectre of Howard Stark hovered over that relationship now and again, well. He could just watch and eat it.

Once he was dressed and dry, Tony went to check on Bucky in his room. He knocked on the bedroom door. “You okay, sweetheart?”

“Yeah.” Bucky sounded despondent.

“Mind if I come in?”

“Please?” That sped his footsteps a little. Tony hurried to the bed, where Bucky was stretched out, slightly damp from the shower, pantsless and depressed. Tony tried not to look. Oh, who was he kidding? He was totally looking.

He sat down close to Bucky’s shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?”

Bucky reached for him, taking Tony’s hand. “No.”

“Oh come on, Eeyore,” he teased, lying down next to him on the pillow. “Tigger’s your best friend. Why don’t you just come on and tell me?”

The ghost of a smile curled Buck’s lips. He reached up to trace Tony’s cheek. “The wonderful thing about Tonies is Tonies are wonderful things.”

Tony couldn’t not kiss him then. “A grand for your thoughts.” He stroked Bucky’s hair back behind his ear, and kept going, combing fingers through the damp waves.

“I wish…” Bucky hesitated, and his eyes looked sad once more. “I wish I could give you what you need.”

“What?” Tony stroked his five o’clock shadow. “What do you mean, sugarlump? You give me what you can, and vice versa. That’s fair, right?” Bucky buried his face in his chest. “Listen, sweetheart. Rushing it won’t make it any better. So just take it slow. If you’re not into it, you’re not into it, hm?”

Bucky’s arms snaked around him, dragging Tony close. “You’re so cute and sexy and...I just want you to have everything, Tony.” His voice was muffled in Tony’s skin. “I’m broken...you deserve better.”

“Shhhh. Now stop that.” Tony brushed fingers through his hair. “I chose to be here, didn’t I? Besides, I’m no prize. You put up with all of my tiny insanities...and the not-so-tiny ones, too.”

“No.” Bucky looked up at him. “You’re not, Tony. I like you...the way you are. I think...to me, you’re perfect.” He touched Tony’s cheek. “I just think you should be with someone who--”

Tony’s lips stopped him speaking. No none had ever called him perfect before. Not in a non-sarcastic way, at least. “Stop talking,” Tony whispered, feeling his throat closing up. “Stop talking and hold me, you big oaf. You big gorgeous piece of man-meat. You hulking side of beef. You angel-faced assassin of my heart.”

And Bucky did stop talking, but he didn’t stop kissing Tony. Which was good. Because one thing he hadn’t confessed at all those NA meetings: Tony was addicted to Bucky’s kisses, and he didn’t think he’d ever kick the habit.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Spider-Man: Homecoming - How It Could Have Ended](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13616160) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton)




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